Let go of the outcome; let go of the fear
Hi friends,
As a child, I had no problem speaking up. It came naturally. If something didn’t make sense to my little 6-year-old mind, I asked questions until it did. Now as I got older, I started to get in trouble for asking questions, for questioning the status quo. Sent to my room or sent to a classroom corner or sent to the unemployment line.
I got the message loud and clear: the best way to get along was to go along. I bit my tongue for ten long years. But this left me feeling crazy and out of sorts with myself. I decided the best way for me to get along was to not go along. In a society that values obedience, the easiest way to do this is to forget the outcome. If I dwelled on the possible outcomes – none of which might even happen – I became paralyzed with fear.
Let go of the outcome and you’ll get go of the fear. Is there something you need to say?
Muse thx,
Giulietta
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Thanks, Julie – That’s very wise advice!
Hope it helps …
Giulietta
Hi Muse,
I am confused as to what you mean by you let go of the outcome. Was the outcome your finding out what you wanted to know, which you did by asking questions? So how do you let go of wanting to have your questions answered?
Cheers
Peter
Hi Peter,
Good question!
A lot of us don’t live the lives we want because we worry about the outcome of such a choice: Will our family give us a hard time? Will others think “less” of us?
Worrying about the outcome holds us back, stops us from taking chances. For example, if I want to speak up at a meeting because I don’t agree with something, I’m more likely to do it if I don’t care what folks in the audience think of me after I say it, especially if it goes against the norm. Many of us shut ourselves down before doing something we really want to do, a kind of pre-punishment. “Oh, you’ll fail.”
Does this explain it better?
Perfectly clear.
I know well the feeling of not doing/saying something that I need to for the fear of what others might think.
So you are saying the outcome is the response of others, which is totally out of my control, to what I have to say.
Thanks 🙂
Yes!
Excellent advice, Giulietta! Worrying too much about the outcome has paralyzed me too many times. It’s time to let go!
When you let go, you put your own sails up. Congrats … G.