Welcome to Distracted Nation
Dear great thinkers,
Am I crazy or are more and more of us experiencing distraction overload?
About five years ago, I was in a Whole Foods parking lot unloading my groceries. Then my mind started to drift. When I “came to” my cart with a few bags still in it had rolled down the slight grade into the hands of a twenty something young man who caught it before, presumably, it dented his car.
I have never forgotten what he said as he returned the cart to me, “You weren’t in the moment.”
Until he said that, I’d never given any thought to being in the moment. Now, I’m aware how easily we can be distracted and the consequences it has for our safety, for our emotional health, for the direction of our government and for the quality of our lives.
With the exception of mechanical failure or bewildered animals, I believe the bulk of auto accidents happen because drivers get distracted to the point they forget they’re maneuvering a 4000-pound piece of machinery in between other folks doing the same. Someone actually ran a stop sign in front of my home and smashed into my car as I was waiting to cross the street and turn into my driveway. He drew me into his distraction drama.
And all the new technology that keeps us “connected” doesn’t help.
In “Girls on the Edge,” by Leonard Sax, he talks about girls getting caught in “a cyberbubble – a hyper-connected state with peers.” Girls become so “connected” with others that they get disconnected from themselves. Although this book is about girls, it can be broadened to include girls and boys of any age.
The more we get distracted by the latest gadgetry, the 24/7 news and all the other noise filling our lives, the more we lose touch with ourselves and what we need and want.
I’m still trying to figure out why we have to be connected and/or available 24/7/365 anyway. What’s the benefit? When I go on vacation, I go on vacation. The only time I touch a computer is the night before I leave in order to download my boarding pass. I want to leave behind much of what passes as phony urgency.
So, what can we do to stop the distraction?
1) Bag multi-tasking. It’s a complete crock and anytime you see that on a job description run for the hills. Why would an employer want someone focusing on 5 things at once? It doesn’t make sense. Nothing will be done with devoted care. More indication that people copy each other to the point they don’t even know what they are copying.
2) Stop chasing goals unless they are your own. For example, there’s constant hype out there to “make six figures.” Everyone’s offering courses to make six-figures and now it’s been upped to seven figures. Is that your heartfelt goal or someone else’s?
3) Take a mindful break every day. Turn off everything and try sitting with nothing but yourself. Start with a few minutes and build mindfulness muscle. To keep my vitamin d levels up, I sit in my yard for 15 to 20 minutes at least four times a week. I do nothing but sit there soaking up sunshine. It’s like hitting the “clear distraction” button. I return to my home office calm and centered.
How about some of you mindful readers? What helps you get out of the distraction zone?
Muse thx,
Giulietta
p.s. Massachusetts/Rhode Island folks who want to build mindfulness muscle, please check out my upcoming life shop: “How to stop being so busy and start living a more meaningful life.”
RSS
Another awesome piece, G.
What you talk about has had a direct impact on me in two ways.
When I was 26 a driver was looking for a building and saw it over some residential rooftops. They subsequently missed a stop sign and broadsided me on my motorcycle. The injuries were, as you might imagine, nasty and it took four years of surgery and rehab to get me to a ‘walking with just a limp’ level. I nearly died twice, nearly lost my leg twice. All because the driver was distracted.
Ironically, it was, by the way, one of the best things that ever happened to me.
It prompted me into a period of introspection that let me learn a lot about myself, things that ultimately inspired and informed my life inversion. It sent me back to school to retrain, a gift that I can’t begin to explain my gratitude for.
And one of the things that I learned about myself through all of that was that I am a solo-tasker. While I’m able to multi-task, I hate doing it. As you say, it divides competency.
I love getting engrossed in a project and giving most or all of myself to it. I choose sports that sympathize with my inclination: martial arts and climbing both require a level of focus that can border or blur completely into a meditative state.
So I completely get what you’re saying, and I wish that more of us would get it too. Life is far more enjoyable when we pay attention to the things that matter.
Cheers, G.
Hi Michael,
Thank you for telling us about your accident. It’s interesting that something so physically painful can be so emotionally/spiritually liberating. Anyone who lives long enough will probably experience a ‘life interruptus’ moment — something that will alter the direction of your life.
Solo-tasker! Good word. And it makes sense. Why not concentrate on whatever you’re working on? How did that come to be seen as a work-limiting characteristic? I wish the folks who write nonsensical job descriptions would take a step back and read the jumble they just wrote. “You must be a multi-tasking team player with the capability to be a self-starter.”
Would love to hear more about climbing on your blog or here if I provide the write prompt!
Much thx. Giulietta
Giulietta: What a great post and your point is so true. If we have allowed distractions to overshadow how we really experience life, we most certainly need to take our lives back. I love that phrase by the way. From text messaging, to cell phones, to Blackberrys … the list goes on and on and it seems the distraction list is continually growing. I think we definitely have to take as many conscious moments as we can throughout the day and be as connected as we can to everything we are doing. Great post.
Hey Sibyl!
Thanks for returning to the site and commenting.
I totally agree the distraction list continues to grow. The irony is that the gadgets that supposedly connect us also work to disconnect us if we get addicted to them. I used to meet folks and be interrupted by a cell phone call. Now, they have their Blackberryish thing by their side constantly checking it, checking it, checking it.
I wonder what’s so urgent that it steals them away from the wonder of the moment?
G.
Guilietta,
Great post! A dear friend of mine put on a conference called Wisdom 2.0 this past spring. He had speakers from Twitter, Facebook, Zappos, and Google talking about this very issue. It was exciting to see some of the most important business leaders of our time recognizing and promoting mindfulness!
Thanks for your sharing,
Paul
Hi Paul,
Wisdom conference sounded neat. Good to hear folks are mindful of mindfulness!
Technology ought to enhance our lives rather than make them even more crazy.
Thx. G.
Hi G – Fantastic topic and delightful to read. New distractions seem to be around every corner these days. We distract ourselves with shopping (I’m remembering your post last week), television, drugs, food. And of course all that technology. And we can’t forget social networking: Facebook, Twitter, etc. Blogging too, I’m afraid to say. The thing is, though, all these distractions are tremendously addictive. After getting hooked, it’s a pure struggle for people to do what you do and turn their computers off while they’re on vacation. I hear this all the time from clients. So I’m always interested in what’s underneath. Psychologically speaking, we tend to pursue distractions/addictions because we feel that we’re not enough at a deep unconscious level. And this story of not being enough is universal. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could find a way to wipe away the distractions and allow people to learn that they are enough, just as they are? I know, I’ve gotten a bit off topic here. So back to mindfulness. I regularly sit and stare at my garden. Or simply do nothing. I’m pretty good at that, sometimes too good at it!
Hi Patty,
You’re so right about the universal story of not being enough. I like how you try to find what’s underneath that. It’s key to understanding the nature of distraction. I believe we come into the world alert, in the moment and feeling powerful. Look at what’s called the Terrible Twos. From that point onward, most inexperienced humans get worked over until they become distraction addicts on their journey to the mythical enough.
At a meeting in my town when folks cried for more revenue to buy more municipal stuff, I mentioned that we already have enough. Someone asked me to repeat it. It’s a fairly new concept to people because our economy grooms us to always want the next “it.”
This is very on-topic because it’s all intertwined. The social media outlets keep expanding, all vying for people’s attention. Alleged gurus say, “you must do this and that and this for your business to be successful.” It becomes yet another version of the Simon Says game some of us played as kids.
I figured mindfulness would be achieved around your garden! So beautiful and simple and peaceful … Thx. G.
Hi Giulietta, As usual, an insightful and thought-provoking piece.
Distractions are here to stay. It used to be that people concentrated on their driving. Now, they fill in this downtime “talking” on mobile phones, listening to/changing tapes, rehearsing for meetings, reviewing pendings, getting emotional (a lot) about problems, etc. the last of which, in particular, is a driving hazard.
As for multi-tasking, that’s the most distracting of all. The other day, when a young man showed off about his multi-tasking abilities, I pointed out that he was unable to focus on any one subject, and that his “butterfly” mind fluttered from subject to subject, never really alighting on one. Our minds, however fluid, are not capable of multi-tasking for endless hours, and we get to the point when any distraction hijacks our focus or our minds tire, and everything goes kaput. I know because I was once there. And we all need our down time, as you recommend.
Hi Penelope,
Cool observation that downtime must now be “filled.” How did downtime get a bad rap and why do we even call it downtime – that’s for the computer? It feeds into a collective state jitteryness. Adults and children “rush” from one activity to another. We need more time to chill … Thx. G.
I haven’t hopped on the Twitter bandwagon yet, and I always wonder if I’m missing out. Now I have to wonder if maybe it’s a good thing 😉
Actually, I just think it’s about limits and habits. When I first joined Microsoft, there was constant overload from all directions, so I just had to learn to set up boundaries, limits, and lenses for looking at things in a simpler way, and letting of things go. It was a great way to learn how to prioritize and focus in any situation.
Hi J.D.,
Good advice for focusing! We each need to find what works for however we’re trying to change the world. People proclaim you need to do “it” this way, when there are many ways. I am not a huge fan of doing video, so I’m probably not going to do it or at least not do it in a conventional way.
Will stop by your blog. Like the title of day 21! G.
Love your ideas, Giulietta, as always.
One thing I notice is the addictive quality of the distractions — TV, email, Twitter, etc.
But why are they so addictive?
Particularly with email, I notice that 1) I’m waiting for SOMETHING to HAPPEN (instead of creating it, isn’t THAT interesting?), 2) I don’t want to “miss” anything, and 3) I feel important/needed/wanted when I have so much email and I’m so busy. Yuck, huh?
I also notice that I like to escape — I’m a big one for escaping — but it’s so much nicer when I do it mindfully, like going out to the movies, or reading a book in the afternoon, as opposed to getting sucked into stuff online, etc.
(As I notice that I’m commenting on stuff online!!)
Ciao,
Jenna
Hi Jenna,
Your mention of addiction made me ponder it. Email is a good example. Who says we have to answer every single one in X amount of time. The things we “have” to do has multiplied as technology as multiplied.
Do addictions give us an easy out, a way to not live an emotionally adventurous life? If we are addicted to something that “takes” over our lives then we don’t have to “go out” there and do new, scary things.
Thanks for mentioning this. Might make a good post on its own.
G.