Redefining the Good Life
I’m so tired of reading in the paper that consumers have to “hit the malls and shop more” to get this economy going that I’ve decided to write my next newspaper column on that topic. This article will be a warm-up.
One of the reasons the economy tanked before was because we all shopped until we dropped. Only we couldn’t get up this time. We’d hit the shopping wall. In all my years of being a consumer trained to buy stuff I didn’t need, I’ve never seen such a shopping frenzy as I did during the years leading up to the crash. People maxing out on 5 credit cards and borrowing against the equity in their homes to buy endless amounts of stuff. Or getting a raise/promotion and running out and buying a new, more expensive home — thus, negating the raise and then some. (Saw this many times.)
I’m sure many of you know that buying junk we don’t need is an addiction. The “high” doesn’t last very long and it’s always followed by the scary and depressing realization that you have to pay for it by prolonging your stint as an indentured servant to a corporation, a credit card company or someone else. (Not to mention it all ends up in the landfills and/or the oceans.)
Perhaps, it’s time to redefine the good life and redefine our economy. Why can’t our economy be driven by something other than folks buying junk they don’t need? Why can’t it be about offering services that free us from our shopping shackles or enhance our lives in a way that lasts way beyond the purchase? There’s nothing more depressing than milling around a windowless mall because you don’t know what else to do with yourself. “Do we need some stuff. Yes. What we’ve got stored in our homes and storage facilities goes way beyond that. Oh, I feel lonely, go shopping. Oh, I feel unattractive, go shopping. Oh, I feel like screaming my head off with boredom, go shopping.(Consider reading my essay from a while back called “A shopper discovers life does exist outside the mall.”)
Perhaps, we could start by not raising our children to be shopaholics. Why not raise them to be part of a community, to care about nature, to care about humanity, to care about gathering experiences rather than shoddily made products.
We might also re-develop and support our local economies. Sometime in the 70’s, the newly invented shopping malls started to suck the life out of our Main Street stores. Instead of buying our wares from folks who knew our names, we started to buy them from folks who didn’t know our names. Before long our food followed suit.
I’d love to see some kind of Las Ramblas lined with locally-grown food cafes take shape in my town. When I went to Barcelona, I loved the fact that folks came out at night and walked up and down the boulevard. Lots of conversations. Lots of hugging. People seemed to know each other. They did some shopping but it seemed subservient to the walking and talking and eating on the Las Ramblas.
Why are we all inside watching reality shows instead of hanging out with other people, sharing stories and laughing? Our minds become filled with what the advertisers on TV want us to buy. (More and more this appears to be pharmaceuticals.)
I’d love to hear what some of you think about redefining the good life. Do you think it needs redefining or do you like it the way it is? How could we change it for the better? Please stop by the blog and tell me what you think! It’s a virtual Las Ramblas …
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I love the same in Italy or in other parts of Europe where the people just sit and chat or gather at cafes for hours without any rushing to be somewhere or doing something. They are there to enjoy one another and the community.
We are an “entertain me” society – fast paced, fairly isolated, and without a strong sense of community. We think happiness comes in the form of hours spent in the office, the latest technology, and communicating with our teens via IM or text when they are feet away. I keep hearing that we are spending less and that the future of the economy needs to be about government spending on mass transit and services to benefit people and environment etc – and yet I still see people striving to have the latest and greatest and thinking that they have to have more or more expensive to be happy.
The society needs a C change from the material to the simple and natural.
Hi TE,
Yes, the Italian pace is slower and softer. Nothing like sitting outside eating Gelati! (esp. pistachio). In the US, we don’t have lots of cafes outside of the cities. Ironically, outdoor patios are almost always packed. Why more restaurants don’t open them makes no sense to me. So many unmet problems that could becomes businesses! Thx. G.
I think you are right on! There is such a hunger among people, however they don’t know how to satisfy their hunger so they allow ads and consumerism to lure them into making purchases of things they don’t need with an empty promise that buying this next thing will fulfill their hunger. For a brief moment we are fooled into believing that are hunger has been sated however we are ready to chase the elusive promise again. We must learn to go within and to be with each other. Great post.
Hi Mark,
Fulfilling a hunger! Terrific way to put it. Can’t you feel the malaise in the air? Even before the crash I could feel it. It’s a wind of sadness. Ironically, the spiritual sustenance is right in front of us — each other as you point out. I appreciate you stopping by again! G.
Good subject Giuli. A few things that have worked for me: 1) Don’t live in a big house–limited space means less room for stuff. 2) If you are going to collect something, collect experiences. Travel, go to shows, eat a nice meal somewhere (like the courtyard in Roslindale Village–lots of outdoor seating and the likelihood of running into someone I know). Take a photo, write about it, tell someone about it and make connections that way.
Hi Sally!
I’m with you on collecting experiences. Those are what stay with you throughout your life because you feel then in your heart and soul. Am hoping to have my first yard sale soon! Want to get rid of the stuff I collected before I realized I’d rather collect friendships and experiences.
Great idea to take a photo and write about. Then share it.
Thx. G.
I was watching the news (which is a rare occasion for me!) and was shocked to see that the ‘bad news’ was that car sales were down. Environmentally, this is brilliant news! – it’s what many campaign their whole lives for. Interesting how perspective is everything.
I’ve been involved with the Transition movement locally here in the UK and some of the very best experiences have been big community events: food shares, picnics, cycle rides and dances involving 50+ people, sometimes hundreds.
Speaking with my next-door neighbours who are from India, there’s a twang of envy for their huge extended families where everyone supports everyone and so, in her words, “nothing is difficult”. She finds herself more isolated here, feeling like she’s expected to manage everything herself.
This is a great topic G – all the best with your article.
Corrina
Hi Corrina,
Thank you for this neat info on the Transition Movement! I’ve never heard of it. (Will be good in the article.) I enjoyed hearing about your neighbor and her extended family-envy. We’ve been taught to “fear” the elderly or consider them useless, which is why we warehouse them in places that cost a lot of money. All this wisdom and we’ve got them watching TV and playing shuffleboard. They’ve got the wisdom that can only happen from logging a lot of years on the planet.
I’d love to maybe have or offer an elderly wisdom whisper thingy. (Again you inspire me with your title-awakening genius.) Folks, visit Corrina’s site if you need help with titles. She’s great!
G.
Hi Giulietta, The major problem is that things keep getting either supposedly better or more outdated – depends on how the consumer, the media, and the manufacturers see them. What worked perfectly well yesterday should be tossed into the rubbish heap today.
I come from a generation when we valued our possessions, and only bought a new model car or fridge or TV etc. when the old one conked out. Clothes were meant to last for many seasons until they wore out. Unlike today when they’re out after a season or as soon as there’s something newer in the mall.
I have come to view owning too many unnecessary possessions as a modern-day evil, a sickness or as you said, an addiction. This “shop ’til you drop” attitude epitomizes a certain American sense of entitlement, especially among younger people.
One of the biggest shocks in my life came when I found out that I’d lost almost everything I owned. I was left with one large suitcase (the contents of which I wore for a full year +), a wonky laptop, and two videotapes of my kids. I was homeless, dependent on people’s hospitality, or on house sitting other people’s homes.
Unexpectedly, I felt young and free again. Liberated from all the possessions that tied me down. Free to go wherever I wanted, and to live as I liked.
The day came when I recovered some of my lost possessions. Most, I gave away. I didn’t need them anymore. Nor have I needed much since then to be content or live comfortably.
If only consumers could learn more prudence, but alas, keeping up with the times (or the neighbors) is drilled into them from birth, and shrieked at them over every latest electronic device that they can lay their hands on. I doubt that this buying frenzy will change or stop anytime soon.
Hi Penelope,
Amazing! Distilling everything you own into one suitcase. What to take? What to leave behind? I’m sure it felt liberating. They are psychological anchors to keep us toiling for the “man.”
I’m not sure how many folks see that these things weight them down, that to keep from spiritually sinking we need to toss a lot of this stuff overboard.
I keep getting rid of “things” yet the deluge continues. Today I will continue with a list for the “yard sale.” I want it gone!
You are so right about us being “trained” to jump when new products come out. To be “first” in line to get this new thing, whatever it is. It’s Pavlovian and starts in early childhood with wanting toys like “The Cabbage Patch Doll.”
G.
We’re on the same page. This morning I wanted to write a “Defined YOUR Good Life” post. I deferred it, but the time seems ripe.
Hey J.D.
Write your post! Love the slight title twist. I will swing by and leave a comment. Great, liberating minds must think alike as they say …
G.
Will do! … all in good time. I have a few bigger fish to fry, but I’ll be prioritizing it in the very near future.
Giulietta, This is great stuff.
This was the first point that caught me:
“One of the reasons the economy tanked before was because we all shopped until we dropped.”
Right. And the bubble burst. Back in the 90s, especially later, my ex-husband and I filled our time with remodeling our home after whatever latest Pottery Barn trend was going on–and I’m not a trendy sort of person (though I love interior design and all sorts of creative stuff). The rest of our time was spent shopping for kitchen gadgets and cooking the latest food trends. In between that we watched the FoodNetwork and said “wow” at our stock portfolio. Wow, indeed. A few years later–and no sound reinvestments and whatever–it was kerplunk.
We never ran up credit cards, though, but I remember it as the only time in my life I’ve had a lot of money to spend and bought a lot of crap. I’ve had two yard sales since and many trips to Goodwill 🙂
In our defense, we didn’t start off with much. Still, it felt excessive and extravagant and it wasn’t what I wanted in my marriage-it was kind of the only way we had fun together–freakin shopping. I don’t even like shopping lol (I avoid malls like the plague) and I really didn’t need that hand-cranked apple peeler lmao or silly souvenirs I bought in Hawaii or Paris or whatever trip his company reward program sent us on. Love to travel though and have done a lot on my own but still…(company stopped the program around 2003 and is merged with another one now)
“Our minds become filled with what the advertisers on TV want us to buy. (More and more this appears to be pharmaceuticals.)”
Exactly. I loath big pharm, and I rarely watch TV but when I do, I analyze commercials since I have to watch them anyway. They’re awful. On my list for an upcoming blog post.
I could go on because I totally know what you mean but I’ll stop with this: I love Barcelona! Love all the markets in European towns and cities I’ve been in. We have some of that here in the Philadelphia area, but it’s no comparison.
Great post.
Hey Leah,
Look forward to commenting on your commercial analysis article! Should be fascinating.
I’m about to join you as a member of Yard Sale Nation. Am overwhelmed just rounding up the stuff. If I added up all the money I spent on this stuff I could have retired at 40. One thing that helped me stop shopping was to state how many cubicle hours I’d have to endure to pay for it. 1 shirt=30 minutes in the cubicle, etc.
Those European markets are so colorful with all the veggies. It’s fun to sit and relax in them.
How many of us tell stories around the campfire about walking through the mall for hours and describing all the glorious stuff? Or the “joy” we felt when we forked over $29 for a cheaply made shirt? Yet, that’s what we are urged to fill our free time with.
Maybe the Barcelonians can come over here and give our urban planners a few tips?
Thx! G.
This is a great topic G! One thought that struck me as I head off to the local farmer’s market this morning: Redefining a more economically and ecologically sustainable “good life” doesn’t always mean skimping. I try to be fairly strategic in where I direct my spending and I often base this not just on my social beliefs but also that sometimes a pricier, better quality item may be worth the sticker shock simply because it’s a better long-term investment.
For example, most of my outer wear is made by Patigonia – a company whose environmental and worker-relations policies I admire. I remember the first time I entered one of their stores and looked at the price tags wondering “Who has the cash to buy this stuff?” After initially ponying up the bucks to buy a couple of items that really fit my needs and I liked the look of over a decade ago, I’ve since discovered that their stuff stays together and stays looking good much longer than much of the lower cost clothing I buy.
I’ve also discovered that the segment of their customer base who DO have the means to churn through their latest and flashiest new offerings tend to sell off previous years’ purchases in used sporting goods stores and on-line. This means I’m able to find top quality, not-very-heavily-worn items at reasonable prices and I’m, in effect, re-cycling what would have been someone’s closet clutter. At the same time I’m making an investment in an item that I can reasonably assume will be useful to me for 5-10 years to come.
Hi Steve,
Super observation about skimping!
You’ve hit a great consumer nail on the head: ditch the lowest price, cheaply made mentality and move back to quality and longevity in our purchases. All the cheap stuff we buy falls apart. Thus, we need to replace it. And it moves jobs to developing countries where the wages can be low enough to ensure profits on a $8 shirt.
If we added up all the money we’ve spent on cheap stuff, we’d see it far exceeded buying quality stuff that lasts. Planned obsolescence ought to be banned. All this stuff that falls apart ends up in our overflowing landfills. Not to mention you never end up buying the more expensive, well made shirt, etc that actually fits you. Instead you buy the ill-fitting shirt you end up tossing because it chafes or whatever.
Bring back real pricing! We will then buy what we really need.
Awesome point! Thx. G.
G- This is a great topic. I have quit watching the news in the mornings b/c its complete junk! If I were a news broadcaster and the only news I had to report was about Lindsay Lohan or whoever the latest target is, I’d be embarrassed! Why is this considered news? And why do so many people care about the lives of celebrities? Its also all about the latest recall on cars, or germs in public bathrooms, etc. Crazy. Since when did germs become a bad thing? Eating a little dirt won’t hurt in my book. All of this craziness about desanitizing, etc…its just lowering our immune system. We need germs to build up our immune systems. I was at the hospital the other day for physical therapy and I couldn’t believe that now they have sneezing stations in the hall way. So when you start to sneeze, you have to go over to the station, sneeze into the paper towel, and then desanitize yourself. CRAZY! Anyway, I know I’ve rambled, but I could go on and on. There are too many rules out there.
I love your posts and articles. They are so inspiring. Keep up the good work!
Anne
Hi Anne,
Wow. Sneezing stations? Then mandatory de-sanitize? I agree that this fear of germs is getting out of hand and is probably fueling the creation of super germs. Animals roll in the dirt and eat all kinds of stuff and don’t usually get sick because they aren’t scrubbing themselves down all day with chemicals.
Because our economy is based on things we don’t need, the advertisers constantly create phony needs for things found in nature and then sell them back to us. Yet, we are found in nature because we are nature.
Am happy to hear you like the blog! TY. G.
The virtual Las Ramblas … I love that. What a great post. I couldn’t agree more that we do ourselves a disservice when we oversimplify the definition of the “good life”. It really has to be something more than just shopping and the material things in life. I think we have to define what the good life means for us and be open to all the things that life has to offer. It is not about following people and buying into everyone else definitions, but rather setting our own definition.
Hi Sibyl,
Your last line says it all, “It is not about following people and buying into everyone else definitions, but rather setting our own definition.” This should be encouraged beginning in early childhood. The consumerism model — at least of consuming things that empty us out — may be over. This “downturn” may be an “upturn” in disguise if we can open our eyes. One of those turning points … Thx. G.
Hi G – Such an important topic! Sometimes I wonder if maybe the whole consumerism thing is finally changing, that many people have done some radical internal and external corrections, initially due to the economy, but now because they recognize there is a deeper, more meaningful way to live. But the media is still banging the drum for buying, for a return to the good old days. And the media is owned by the corporate machine, so I suppose we can’t expect any better from them. Lately I have this shred of hope, though. Am I just naive? And I’d love nothing better than hanging out, sharing stories and laughter. But it probably won’t happen in the suburban neighborhood I live in, which is why I’m seriously considering a move to a co-housing community in the near future.
Patty,
I don’t think you are naive! We all need to be the change we want to see. Co-housing appears to be gaining momentum. It’s interesting, but one of the happiest times in my life was when I went to camp and lived in a cabin with other kids. We didn’t have TV, radio (no computers then.) But we had our imaginations and our conversations and our tall, magical white pines to guide us. We laughed all the time … G.