Getting to Begin
I got the idea for this Musepiration from a comment I left on a friend’s post (thanks Jenna) and from a comment someone left on one of mine (thanks Patty). A good reason to leave comments — it gets everyone’s creative juices flowing.
Adults seem to have a fear of beginning, even activities they desperately want to do. Conversely, children usually have the confidence to leap into new things. If you’ve been reading my blog lately, then you know I talk semi-ad nauseam about the creativity restraints many school and work environments put on folks.
“Here, put on this mind-body-soul strait jacket. It’s GOOD for you.”
If anything, we should be freeing ourselves more as we journey through life. To free yourself, you’ll need to question why you do what you do. Fling yourself back into the belief time machine to trace the origins of these must/should edicts.
One of my commenters (thanks Karen) recommended I read, “The Teenage Liberation Handbook.” This may be geared to teenagers but I think every adult ought to read it as well. It’s got great ideas for taking back your life — at any age. Really emphasizes the decision to step up and take responsibility for your own decisions in life. What’s interesting is that I consider myself pretty liberated, yet the ideas in this book have enticed me into a whole new liberation arena!
Great quote in the book by Robert Louis Stevenson,
“Youth is the time to go flashing from one end of the world to the other both in mind and body; to try the manners of different nations; to hear the chimes at midnight; to see sunrise in town and country; to be converted at a revival; to circumnavigate the metaphysics, write halting verses, run a mile to see a fire, and wait all day long in the theatre to applaud “Hernani.”
I repeat the quote in order for you to give yourself permission to reclaim your youthful confidence to follow your heart — to begin, whatever it is you want to begin. I see all of us as children of the world. Children who can reclaim their freedom to live a full, juicy life at any age.
Who said adulthood has to be a painful slog?
When you find yourself fear-full of trying something new, please don’t turn around and run back to soul-stifling safety, keep going into the fear-fullness. It will lead you to the land of aliveness. But to get there, you must pass through the gates of begin.
What would you like to begin? It can be small, medium, or large. A small begin to one person is a big begin to another and vice versa.
Giulietta, juicy life connoisseur.
p.s. Please click on the link and check out my new juicy on-line writing class at Story Circle on-line.
Date: Monday, May 16th through June 13th
Transformation: Get in touch with your juicy side in writing and in life. A unique writing experience that makes the connection between self-liberation and unleashed writing.
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Giulietta,
This post reminded me of the summer our son suddenly became afraid of the ocean. He had just turned four years old. The summer before he had fearlessly explored tidal pools and played in the ocean. The following summer he wouldn’t go near the water because he was afraid that fish would bite his toes. (It turns out some friendly fish had nuzzled his feet during a canoe trip on the Concord River that spring which he found unsettling.)
This little story illustrated for me how, as each year of our lives passes, we learn more about the world and internalize information about it and our place in it through what we make out of our experiences. Sometimes what we believe about our experiences isn’t the whole truth and we trap ourselves in the story we’ve made up about them.
Your post today asked me to stop and think about what was getting in my way…duty. My blog has sat unwritten for two weeks because I have felt duty bound to stay at my Mom post through my son’s birthday and April vacation. I am glad your blog was the first thing I read today because I think I will get back to my writing and will wait to wash the floor until later…:-)
Hi Teri,
Your son’s mishap with fish illustrates how we start to believe stories that may not be true for us. Someone told me I was shy and for decades I believed it with unpleasant consequences.
It’s interesting how washing the floor gets higher on the priority list than writing about the benefits of eating local. After reading your blog a few weeks ago, I made my first rutabaga mash and it was delicious. All these years on the planet and I’ve never cooked these yummy veggies.
Thanks!, G.
Ohmyword, Giulietta – what a wonderful post. This topic is in the air, must be that loads of us are ready for it!
Earlier today I read and commented on a post by Ken Roberts (http://kenandpaper.com/2011/revisit-your-adulthood-youre-not-a-kid-anymore/) where he asked about our interests NOW, as different from when we were kids.
I mentioned that NOW I can be a beginner – not so in my childhood.
I’m not disagreeing with you though – I believe that most adults have a hard time with beginnings. I had a strange (Square-Peg type inner life) childhood, which is why I didn’t know the freedom of beginnings as a kid. But I’m glad for my own kids (who helped me open up) and books like the awesome Teenage Liberation Handbook one!! Because now I relish beginnings!
Love your job title:juicy life connoisseur : )
Hi Karen,
I’m glad to hear that you relish new beginnings now! Relish is a “juicy” word. We all have different childhoods, so you’re right that some children may have not been beginner-oriented for a variety of reasons.
My mother kept telling me NOT to leave the yard because I was such an explorer – and I left anyway. Just could not stop myself from what lay beyond the hill or the brook or the grove of trees. Will check out the site you mention. Thanks! G.
What I find is that often as creative adults, we get excited about the IDEA of a new beginning. But when it comes time to dive in, to actually “take ther leap” we get scared and talk ourselves out of it.
But I’ve also been struck with the Resistance that comes up when we are about to begin a new creative project… that essay we want to write but can’t seem to start… those song lyrics that want to be written yet we seize up at the thought of starting to get them down. And I believe this does related to what you are saying here… that as adults we can’t just leap in with wild abandon because we’ve been restrained with the belief that we have to get it right. It has to be “good” “brilliant” and… acceptable?
Sometimes the only way to begin is to give ourselves full permission to make a mess of it!
Hey Nancy,
Yes! It’s the need to “get it right the first time” that the thought of diving in can dredge up. I use to circle things, get all excited to go and then talk myself out of it.
Did notice that pattern and stopped letting myself weenie out and every time the event/class/whatever ended up being fantastic. Every once in awhile I do weenie out and wish I had not.
Giving ourselves permission to make a mess is a great idea! Kinda like those “bad art” classes where the intent is to make something really ugly. Then we can toss of the perfectionism and have fun.
Excellent point! Thanks for stopping in again. G.
Babies and animals are closest to the spiritual world. As our children grow, we tend to take away from them the magicical connection to otherwordly things. Parents, schools, society all want conformation, ‘normalcy’. Without it, we believe, because this is what we were taught, that belief in the magic that sorrounds us (and truly exists) will distort or be detrimental to what we have all gained by losing our connection to the magic that surrounds us (and still truly exists). There are fairies, there are angels, there is magic. Let your children know that. Let yourself find it again.
Hi John,
Love it when you stop by … Beautiful words for all of us to ingest. We are spiritual beings and our handlers try to disconnect us from the magic around us.
The world wants conformity from what I’ve observed so that we are easier to herd. I say, listen to the children and try a new world where we believe in each other and that anything can happen.
Thx, G.
“To get there, you must pass through the gates of begin”
I’m going to write that on a sticky note and post it on my laptop. The threshold feels scary, but freedom is on the other side.
Hi Angie,
It really can seem like a scary threshold. Yet, you are right that true freedom lies on the other side. It’s taking that first step into the threshold that liberates. That scene reminds me of an essay I wrote that I’d like to recast with the threshold being a more important character! Thanks for the idea, G.
What a wonderful piece of post you have on here.I will be in touch for more.Hope your day is going good.Keep up wit the good work
Meanwhile plz do check my blog on freeing your mind read it,follow,be inspired and comment to improve my works too.Have a wonderful day.
EBENEZER
Hi Ebenezer,
Welcome to Take Back Your Life. I checked your blog on Freeing Your Mind. A good place to start the journey to liberation. You’ve got gobs of comments! Thx for stopping by and leaving a comment. G.
Giulietta, Your first sentence just leaped out at me. Just yesterday I was wondering what had happened to my adventurous spirit. It seems to have got stuck in a hole where I’m not achieving anything or even trying very hard, particularly in the writing area. I desperately want to start writing again but at the same time, I’m fear-full because I love it so much that then I won’t want to do anything else, not even work, and I have to work because survival comes first, doesn’t it? Whereas before, I just got off my butt and went out, got work, and still managed to write my books. So I need to yank my adventurous spirit back from wherever it’s hiding and get things done.
Hi Penelope,
Maybe we need to redefine survival in this world. Not sure how yet, but shouldn’t it involved adventure? Why do we collectively allow it to be beaten out of us? Perhaps, start writing and see where it brings you in terms of work? Who Knows.
Plus, you’re such a fabulous writer – magnificent sentences – that you might start doing freelance work via your web site?
Still don’t see Comment Luv with you? Did you sign up? It should come naturally but there seems to be a problem. CL should take care of that. Thx, G.
Sometimes fear of beginning has to do with our perfectionism. I see it in myself when it comes to hobbies I’d like to try. I read a how-to book, get all excited, and then the actual starting seems outrageously complicated, mostly because I don’t know how to do it. And why should I, if I’ve never tried it before? But still, that’s enough to sometimes stop me.
Charlotte, I’m glad you mentioned perfectionism. It’s truly an epidemic out there. We don’t allow folks to be beginners. You see a story about a singer making it big, but you don’t see the 8 years they played in dark, musty clubs in front of 15 people before someone noticed their songs.
Maybe we can promote the joys of beginnerism? thx, G.
“If anything, we should be freeing ourselves more as we journey through life. To free yourself, you’ll need to question why you do what you do.”
Appears so obvious and we have known this for so many years… schools don’t allow kids to question and explore yet does anyone have a clue what job that Kindergarten will have once she is out of school?? It will not be one factory (don’t think too much) job that will last until retirement.
I also worry about early our kids are told “Here, put on this mind-body-soul strait jacket. It’s GOOD for you.” Peer pressure, media, parents, society.
Donna,
I’m really glad you’ve lent your voice to our discussion. I’m with you on the need for children to explore and ask questions. Crazy to not let them!
At the viewing of “Race to Nowhere,” a lot of concerned parents got up and spoke. The reduction in recess was mentioned. Lashing kids to the desks all day when they are feeling most alive and energetic feels like a crime against humanity. No wonder everyone is hyperactive. It’s an abnormal state. Another asked if the kids would be shown the film and she was given a yes, maybe kind of response. Of course, show it to them so they can understand they are not alone in this.
Are we shielding the truth from them as well? These kids need to be liberated from their oppression. Many thanks for stopping in. G.
I loved this post, Giulietta! As I was reading, I kept thinking of one of my very favorite quotes by George Eliot: “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” What I see with the women I work with is not only the fear or inertia of beginning, but that they feel it’s too late to live any of the dreams they had for themselves. One must believe that anything’s possible! I think of Susan Boyle (Britain’s Got Talent), who at age 47 became a singing superstar. Who would’ve thunk?! ;-p
Hi Lisa, George Eliot has some amazing quotes and this is one of them.
What’s happening with many of your clients can begin as young as the late 20’s. I saw it with friends.
Some famous painters didn’t start until their senior years, like Grandma Moses. Susan Boyle as you point out is a great example. (American Idol has a cut off of 29, which I found discriminatory and absurd considering that voices don’t mature until the thirties.)
Many people give up living long before they die and I’m trying to figure out why we keep promoting this as a society.
Let’s keep going until we can’t go anymore! Many thanks for this. G.
Giulietta,
I really loved this post. It was very inspirational and I think I was probably supposed to come across it today 🙂 I think it was a message I needed to be reminded of. We need to be bold and brave and go for what we want. It was always easier as a child and we were much less afraid to take chances … that really is what it is all about.
Hey Sibyl,
Great to see you back here! Yes, adults seem to have this fear of living. I get up every morning amazed at what life has to offer, all the cultural, physical, spiritual things and try and go for it.
Doing something new every day can really help break the cycle of fear.
Appreciate your comment!
G.