Do you hide out from living your one and only life?
Hey courageous ones,
Recently, I saw one of my favorite up and coming singer/songwriters, Kim Jennings. The city of Worcester, Massachusetts, voted her its best female vocalist for 2010. If you ever get a chance to hear her perform in person, you’ll know why. She’s dazzling, daring and dynamic. Because I look for everyone’s life theme, I couldn’t help but notice that two of her songs both contained the same line: nowhere left to hide. She’s definitely come out of her hiding place. Have you?
It’s easy to spend your life hiding out. So many places to shield you from living out in the open. You can hide behind your job titles, your college degrees, your consumer goods. You can hide behind the should’s, must’s, and have to’s. You can hide behind being busy and over-scheduled. You can hide behind your children. You can hide behind a clean house or a manicured lawn. You can hide behind shopping at the mall. You can hide behind your resume. You can hide behind sports teams. You can hide behind the need for a perfect body. You can hide behind the stories you tell about yourself that aren’t even true. You can hide behind your addictions. You can hide behind the reality shows you feel compelled to watch. You can hide behind your own fears.
But do you really want to spend your life hiding behind something or someone else? Do you really want to litter your glorious life path with excuses that make exploration impossible?
I used to hide out behind the lie: You have no right to stand up for yourself. I’d get all upset or angry or sad or depressed because I didn’t say what I wanted to say. I wasted decades not speaking up, not setting boundaries, not challenging what folks in positions of power insisted I had to do.
One day I poked a hole in the lie and saw light streaming through. I ripped open the hole wider and wider. Damn. A whole new world existed out there! One day I squeezed through. I stood on the stage of my own life and I had the lead role!
And you can too.
Do you want to stop hiding behind “fill-in-the-blank”? I’d love to know what you’re hiding behind or used to hide behind. What you share will help others.
Muse thx,
Giulietta
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In keeping with your idea of hiding – I wonder how many people hide behind their computers and their phones – connecting but yet not exactly facing the reality of the life they have? Thought provoking post!
Hi!
Yes, that’s a great one. I didn’t even think of it. Computers and phones makes great hiding places. Wonder if phones and computers have increased fears of communicating out in the open?
Thanks! G.
TY for the kind words!!
Now that I am writing songs, I do feel like I am hiding less…sometimes.
Sometimes the song itself is a way to couch something inside, to hide within the story of the song – for me to say something that otherwise might not be said. What’s that about??
I still think this is progress from complete hiding…and being that it’s a journey I’m on, I am trying to accept that “still growing” part of myself in the process.
Thanks for making me think more…yet again!
~Kim
You’re welcome Kim!
We all have a life lesson, a reason we landed in this never-ending episode of Lost. If we are lucky, we discover it and face it. It then gives us a twofold purpose, to keep unraveling the lesson and to help others who face the same lesson. Kinda like from lost to found. Appreciate the comment. G.
What a great topic. I think most of us hide behind something, usually work, our home, or a facade that we present to the world. I hide because time on my own is valuable – it’s when I can really think, work, write, gather my thoughts, escape the incessant demands of life. I hide from my friends because I love being with them, talk too much, give away too much. Perhaps hiding is an excuse to avoid self-inflicted distractions, opening emotional doors – fear that exposing ourselves may create disruptions, controversy, trample on others’ feelings, or say or do something controversial.
Hey Penelope,
I love what you say about hiding from friends because you give too much. That’s fascinating. Love to hear more some time.
Thx for stopping by. Looking forward to your new blog about your book Don’t Hang Up.
G.
Ooohh, good one. I used to hide behind the facade of success… now I hide behind being busy– having “no time” to pursue my dream. Admitting it helps me challenge and change the belief.
Have you determined my life’s theme? 🙂
Hey Angie!
I’m really tuned into life themes because I start to notice them fairly quickly when I read the essays of my students. We write about the same things over and over, although from different angles.
Yes, once you know that you’re hiding behind something, it helps you summon the courage to step in front of it.
I know you can find the time!
Thx for the reveal. Giulietta
Great thoughts here, and I agree with the computer/cell phone idea. For the most connected people, technology seems to keep us disconnected in a way. I think I used to hide behind expectations of who I was supposed to be. But with just plain old living and experience, that has faded into the background as I’ve emerged into myself. Clicked over from Angie’s, enjoyed browsing here!
Hi Joanne,
Glad you skipped over from Angie’s. Yes, you’re so right about the disconnection brought on by many high tech gadgets.
Years ago working at a high tech company, I kept saying, “But we seem to be less connected than ever.” Didn’t help my standing at the company.
To compensate, I go to lots of group events in my town: selectman meetings, community gatherings, documentary series discussions. Otherwise, I may have lost my ability to carry on a face-to-face conversation.
Great blog you’ve got Joanne!
Thx. G.
Giulietta –
I used to hide behind the idea that I wasn’t good enough – for anything. That hiding place stopped me from doing anything at all risky or exciting – in case I should fail and prove myself right. Pretty dumb reasoning. I’m over it now though and now I just get on with it. I really liked this post – thank you for asking great questions as always.
Phil
Hi Phil,
Glad you emerged from your hiding place. Your blog always enlivens and enlightens. We need to teach the young to take emotional risks, that a life worth living bubbles over with such risk. No such thing as failure, just a made-up state to keep folks in line.
Much thanks, Giulietta
Hi Giulietta,
Great post, and you list so many ways for people to hide. I think computers/smartphones are among the most popular for the 2000s.
Kim Jennings makes a good point about couching something she’s hiding within a song in an effort to bring it out of hiding. Writers do that as well with their stories. There’s nothing wrong with that, and like she said, coming out of hiding can be a progress, and not one only experienced by creative types.
I think that one of the things I’ve hidden behind was job security. The things I’d rather be doing don’t offer much of that.
Hey Sally,
Good to hear from you! Miss your great comments. We all write about our life lesson (aka theme). It’s what we need/want to work on.
As you point out, writing is a super way to do that and it might also be the reason, people can be frightened to start writing – you can’t hide from yourself!
thx. G.
Hi Giulietta,
Good stuff here! I had to pop in to read it since you mentioned it over on my blog. I think there are some deep archetypal stories we all hide behind at one time or another, particularly the feeling that, deep down, we are not enough. One of my favorite authors, James Hollis, says it is one of the universal wounds we can’t escape from, since at some point we will feel abandoned, even if we are loved unconditionally. And then we will question our “enoughness.”
But I don’t think we are always conscious of hiding behind it. And that’s been the key for me and my clients – becoming aware of the power of this story, and choosing not to keep cooperating with it. I think it’s hard though. And everything that’s been said here – hiding behind technology, success, security, work, home, fear of taking risks – I would guess every one of them either stems from the archetypal story of “not enoughness” or the other universal story of “overwhelmment.”
Gee, isn’t it great to be to come in after-the-fact and pontificate all over the place? Sorry for being so long-winded, but I guess you just sparked something in me!
Hi Patty,
I will check out James Hollis. Thanks for the mention. (Am always following a trail of book breadcrumbs.)
Am intrigued by the archetypal story of “not enoughness.” At a recent community meeting on getting more “tax dollars” I mentioned the concept of enough and had to explain it further. It’s an alien concept, yet one we don’t have “enough” of.
Glad my post sparked you to come alive with this thought. My purpose for being…
Enjoy!
G.
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
Sent via Blackberry
You’re so right– about writing the same things over and over. I never thought, though, about how they work to reveal my life’s theme. Very cool.
Hi Angie,
Give it a try! You can probably see your own life theme … Thx for commenting. G.