Listen as if your life depended on it
Hey rebellious wishcasters!
I took a six-week listening course about 18 years ago that helped me realize I’d been hearing what people said but not listening. In fact, very few people learn to listen because it’s an active skill that takes practice and concentration. Ever since that ear-opening class I’ve tried to listen more deeply, to stop talking over people, to paraphrase what the person has said, to minimize being “on-deck” worrying what I’m going to say instead of paying attention to the human being in front of me.
Yet, I wish on this Wednesday to take my listening abilities down another layer, to start to listen as if my life depended on it. In a few posts before this one, I talk about people wanting to feel appreciated. I also believe people want to feel like they’ve been ‘heard.’ The way to do that is to listen with intent, to make every conversation an adventure in learning from another person.
There are no boring people on the planet. Just boring listeners.
What are your thoughts on listening?
Muse thx,
Giulietta
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I ‘hear’ you and I hear your wish…
As the Muse wishes for her life and listening, so I lovingly join her in the wishing.
Interesting question!
I think I am a good listener, because working as an astrologo (what is the female form of it?) I have to do that: listen to what people say and what the REALLY say.
I also love voices. Voices are more important to me than looks.
I find it helpful to listen very carefully to the words people are choosing. How do they talk, esp. about themselves.
Do they use terms like “what an idiot I am”?
Do they call their kids “monsters” or “dwarfs”? (Never heard that in english speaking countries, but in Germany a lot of women call there kids “dwarfs”, I don’t know why- but I found this horrible!)
Listen to yourself is an advice I would give people. Listen how you are talking about things! I deeply believe it can change your life, if you talk friendly about yourself and your family.
About the inner critic:
“How did she get in there anyway?” thanks for that most most most important question!!! How did we get this stupid nagging voice, that has only one thing in mind: to spoil everything?
I must think about this!
(I recognized my mother’s voice a lot, but it’s too easy to say: it’s all her fault!)
I hear what you are saying and have listened as well. That is something that truly is an art and coming from a family that talks over everyone, does not listen, and constantly interrupts, I have had to learn to NOT do the same thing. Now, I train my mind to focus and not think about other things or what I am going to say which sometimes is hard, so I do try very hard!~
As the muse wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
As Giulietta wishes for herself, I so wish for her as well…
I am told I am a good listener…when I was a kid I was never allowed to talk unless the adult had completely finished speaking, if then…so I learned to pay attention…because I was frequently required to tell my mother what she’d said after one of her…talks…so that she knew I really heard her…
I think I try…but am not always sure I do a good job….but I do know how very frustrating it is to try to get a point across in conversation and be completely ignored or misheard or misunderstood and have no way to get through to the other person….
and all that does is make me more careful when I listen to others so I don’t make them feel that way…
As Giulietta wishes for herself, I wish for her as also.
As Giulietta wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.
Here’s wishing that we all become better listeners.
Peace and goodness to you.
I love it! You are so right about listening and the need to feel you have been heard. Right on!
As Giulietta wishes for herself, I wish for her as also.
As Giulietta wishes for herself, so I wish for her also! 🙂 … you make a perfect point it is so important to feel like you’ve been HEARD!!! Sometimes if they don’t agree with you, you feel better knowing that at least, they paid attention to your thoughts. 🙂
As Giulietta wishes for herself, I wish for her as also.
I used to have been a really bad listener, I know that I always put myself on the conversation instead of listening to what the person was saying to me (you know, the “me, myself and I” kind of thing… “me me me me me” awful).
I realized it in a really hard way, but I learned my lesson and I think that today I am a good listener. A better one, though.
As Giuletta wishes for herself, so I wish for you also. And if we all listen to others better, it would be such a different world 🙂
AHhhhhh *to truly listen* I’m the worst… and I totally commend you for taking a course in this – wow, something I totally feel i need!
Dearest Giulietta as you wish for yourself, so too do I wish for you 🙂 MUAH!♥
As the muse wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Yes wonderful wish and wonderful thoughts!! I totally agree..so many folks just want to be heard. There is nothing worse than someone staring through you as you speak..or worse walking away half way through your sentence…ackkkk!!! I try hard to her the message in the words..between the lines in the emotions. Powerful wish..may you go deeper!!!
Namaste, Sarah
As Guiletta wishes for herself, so do I wish for her as well! I try too, to be a good active listener and often times find myself wishing people would just sing me some songs istead of talking so much all of the time. I love listening to songs a lot better! Lol!
As the muse wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. And, when we don’t pre-plan what we are going to say and truly listen and HEAR the other person, then what we have to say is far more authentic and truly in response to what the other is saying…like improvising.
You are so right! In a past relationship
many, many years ago – we could never really
hear each other as we were both to busy planning
our rebuttals.
As Guilietta wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.
As Guiletta wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
I agree 100%, everyone wants to feel like they are being “heard” beneath the chatter!
May it be so.
As Giulietta wishes for herself, so I listen to her wish and wish for her also.
Interesting question that deserves an honest answer: I was raised by parents who came from big families. A tactic used in one parent’s family was to finish someone else’s sentence, thereby giving the person who wished to speak the floor. As I’ve gotten older I realized I picked up this habit. I’m trying really hard to stop it, because apart from the fact it has to annoy the speaker it doesn’t reflect the compassion I feel toward him or her.
As Giulietta wishes for herself, so I listen to her wish and wish for her also.
As Giulietta wishes for herself, I wish for her as also.
As I hear and honor what you are saying, I say, “As Guiliette wishes for herself, I also wish the same for her as well.”
As Giulietta wishes for herself, so i wish for her also.
Sister Muse…what a powerful post. I listen to clients all day and sometimes I disappear. Thank you for reminding me to stay present.
As Giulietta wishes for herself, so do I, in a present state of mind, wish for her also.
As the muse wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
I not only listen I feel it too. Some times I know something is wrong before they speak.
Giulietta,
I had a long comment written out for you yesterday and then *POOF*, it disappeared. I didn’t have the heart to write it again last night so here I am today, trying to remember what I said. 🙂
I agree that people want to be heard; we yearn to communicate with others who will truly listen even if they don’t agree with what we say. It’s that connection we crave, that “I get what you’re saying, and I get you” that we long for. I think listening is an art, a commitment to focus on and tune in to someone else. Your attention to this in talking about it here is an excellent reminder and I want to thank you for that.
P.S. Thank you so much for your uplifting and encouraging comments on my blog yesterday. I can’t express how much they mean to me. I often question my writing and your words were like a soothing balm to my spirt. Much love to you.
Oh, and I definitely want to check out Courageous Conversations! 🙂
Oops, “spirit” not “spirt.” giggle 🙂
As Giulietta wishes for herself, I so wish for her as well.
What a great wish – if we could all listen as well!
Great site, how do I subscribe?
Hi Kelli,
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Thanks for stopping by! G.