Everyone Is Beautiful When They Take Off Their Masks
About 3 years ago, I wrote a blog post about the masks I’d worn, taken off and still have fragments of to remove. I got nervous right before hitting the send key because I thought, it’s too rad for folks. Well, that post got more comments than just about any post. It spoke to readers.
Yesterday, while patrolling the supermarket aisle in search of organic items (or was it meaning?), the title for this month’s newsletter popped into my head. Everyone Is Beautiful When They Take Off Their Masks.
If you take off your metaphorical mask, you will expose the underneath you, the one you’ve been taught to hide or hold in check or be ashamed to reveal.
The beautiful human you. The vulnerable you.
Yet, that vulnerable you is the one we really want to see, the one that reveals the unique you, the one we will fall in love with. The human with faults and flaws and feelings. The difficulties in life for me have happened when I tried to glue on an external facade that wasn’t me. A real source of stress and angst and sadness. It’s a burden to hide myself.
I’ve spent a lot of time prying my masks off. Sometimes it’s been a mask over a mask over a mask. Still have some mask debris on my face I’m trying to get off.
Some of you may not agree, but I see a weird trend toward more mask-wearing despite a lot of touchy-feelingness out there. People say stuff on-line, but I’m not sure they really believe it or live it. You know in your gut when something feels disconnected.
The Cult of Perfection is alive and well in the world. Just the other day I questioned why they still airbrush women in magazines? Why can’t we see their real faces or bodies? Women and young girls pick up those magazines and compare themselves to airbrushed people who don’t even exist.
What would happen to us if we saw real people? I’d rejoice that someone else has cellulite on the top of their thighs. Man, we women get so freaked out about something that 90% of women over 25 have. I’ve tried everything to get rid of it. Why? Will I be different if it’s finally gone? Who said it was bad or ugly?
I wish magazines would take a vow to not airbrush people. It would be good for women’s souls. I bet men’s magazines do the same.
Instead of masks greeting masks, we’d have souls greeting souls.
Can we reverse this trend of trying to deflaw ourselves when it’s our flaws that make us beautiful?
How about you? Would you like to see more vulnerability out there? Are we ready for it? Please leave a comment on the blog if you like.
Yours with flaws, Giulietta
p.s. Last call for Eat, Pray, Love Yourself More! signup for Saturday, January 11th. Click HERE for more info on this mini-retreat in Hopkinton, Mass.
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Beautiful post!
Yes, it is wonderful and freeing when we can strip off our masks to reveal and accept the whole of our expression; so called good and bad. When we can embrace it all, I suspect, it will all be “good” and beautiful. I’m working on this too, and don’t know the balance between projecting the positive image I am choosing to become versus denial of what’s going on. And I like to spread good news online. We are bombarded by bad news.
Thanks for a very insightful post.
brad
Hi Brad!
I’m so glad the post spoke to you and that you stopping by to leave me such a kind note. I love what you say about “accepting the whole of our expression.” That’s really the key – it’s o.k. to be human! You raise a neat point – about being positive, but being aware.
Think if we started a good news drumbeat and that could become the norm, a lot of the issues out there would dissipate. When we watch gruesome movies all the time and hear gruesome news, it doesn’t do much for the psyche.
I wonder how we even got in that rut of negativity?
Thanks! G.
I just loved what you had to say! Once I began connecting to my “inner me,” it has helped me to be a happier person! And, now I am helping others do the same….
Thank you Linda! Congrats on developing that all important relationship with yourself, the one that seems to get lost as we march toward generic success. Wonderful you are working with others to self-nurture.
Enjoy the Day … G.
I try to live by the Rotary Four Way Test and that pretty much takes care of being and doing what you say you are. I find it a simple and effective way to approach any situation and any day. Does it make me vulnerable to some people, probably, but, that’s fine, I would rather be thought vulnerable than dishonest in any way.
Thanks for giving us thoughts to ponder, always good to self examine.
Hi Lou!
You will be happy to hear that I’m going to my first rotary lunch tomorrow. Many thanks for mentioning it so many times. Even spoke to my Dad about his experiences and he raved about it.
Soon I will be living with the four-way test myself. Will let you know how it goes …
Yours in pre-rotarian thanks, G.
That is great, G, so happy for you. You will be a breath of fresh air for any Club and then you can find friends that would like to change the world around them. You’ll have to let me know how it all goes.
I’m currently exploring what it means to truly “let go” and find your mask metaphor right on! We could all benefit from shedding a few (or hundreds!) if layers, and “fragments” of old masks as you put it. Thanks for giving me another little nugget to ponder in my quest to “let go”. Which is s-o-ooooo easy. Ha!
Hi Suzanne,
Great to have you swing by the blog. The most powerful thing we can do for ourselves is to let go. What are hanging onto anyway? It makes for a less stressful, more enjoyable life. Yet, they teach us the opposite to hand on to all sorts of things. Best wishes in your journey to let go … I found prying off one finger at a time worked well. G.
Fabbytastic post, Giulietta!
I’m raising my hand in favor of stopping the airbrushing of magazine models, celebrities,etc. Enough of the phoney baloney!
There’s SO much talk on the internet about “transparency” and “authenticity” — especially when it comes to building a small business online. However, I constantly question how much of the “real” business owner we’re actually seeing.
Your post really resonated with me because I would describe myself as an “off the cuff” gal. I don’t like to mince words and I’ve taught all four of my daughters to tell the truth if it kills you. You know that old adage, “The truth will set you free” 🙂
Hi Melanie,
Good to have you and your great comment here. Did you ever see “Killing Us Softly” about women in advertisements? I saw it a gazillion years ago and have never forgotten the message Ms. Kilbourne made.
You’re right about the endless shout-outs about transparency and authenticity. Easier to just lead by example, then folks will see for themselves who you are and what you value.
I like what you told your daughters. Truth does set you free! I will check out your blog, neat topic.
Many thanks. G.
Hi Giulietta,
Good subject. Love your descriptive phrases: “prying a mask off” “a mask over a mask over a mask” and “mask debris.”
I’d like to think that I’m beautiful under my mask but I’ve worn it for so long that I wouldn’t know what is under it. Or maybe the mask and I have melded into one, and the mask has become my true face.
I agree that the Cult of Perfection is alive and well in “our” world. I make the distinction because at least half of the world doesn’t have the time, money, or interest to cultivate perfection. I find those airbrushed photos annoying but not as much as the perfect teeth/smile/eyes/skin/boobs/hair etc. all manufactured, artificial, and pre-packaged according to today’s notion of what is beautiful. Also prison camp skinny. There seems to be an epidemic of this pseudo beauty and nonentity adoration. Yet hasn’t it always been that way? People just switch masks.
Penelope! So good to hear from you. Hope all is well with you. Miss your blog entries.
Your mask and face melding into one – what a fascinating concept. I bet you’re right that after wearing a mask for a long time, it starts to integrate with your original face so they are indistinguishable.
Yes, it’s the cult of perfection in our world. It seems to take quite a bit of expendable cash to meet the demands of beauty over here.
I’d love to know why models need to be tall and really thin? Wouldn’t it be more fun and useful to see real women as the models, so we can see clothes made for women with curves? So few women look like models in terms of physicality.
We adhere to some strange ideals in our world.
Thanks! G.
Hi G, when I’m at a store with magazines in the front that have airbrushed people on the cover, it’s interesting for me to try to get a sense of how they were actually feeling when they appeared for the photo. The “my life is a constant party” appearance doesn’t hold up to close scrutiny.
Hey Chris,
Yes! Their emotions get airbrushed out as well leaving up to us to fill in the emotional blank. Didn’t think of that. Good thoughts … thanks, G.
Loved this post, especially this line: “Instead of masks greeting masks, we’d have souls greeting souls.”
You really hit home with me about the magazines. I used to get this clothing catalog from a store. They decided to try a new thing. They used real normal bodied woman to show off their clothes. I loved it and thought it was a great idea. Unfortunately, in the next catalog they went back to models and masks.
From one soul to another, thanks for this thoughtful post:~)
Hi Sara,
Good to see you here!
Fascinating that the magazine tried real body models and then reverted to rare body models. I wonder if someone complained or sales were impacted? The whole concept of models with body types that so few women possess makes no sense.
Ultimately, they are not the target market. We’d probably buy more clothes if they actually fit and were designed for women with a range of body types.
Why not strive to make women feel good!
thanks, g.