Always Ask The Waiter/Waitress His Or Her Name
I graduated 6 months early from high school and waitressed full-time at a chain restaurant before going to college. It was going to be my spending money.
What a great life experience! I often worked with single mothers trying to support their children or young women putting themselves through college. One mother was downright hilarious. We yacked it up all the time when it was slow. She had a lot of funny mother stories. I learned first hand how hard some folks have to work to bring home the bacon.
Initially, I was the worst waitress and my supervisor “Wanda” always had terse words for me. I could barely handle 1 table let alone the 6 she routinely gave me.
I’d walk around with orders in my pocket, forget to clean off tables, spend too much time flirting with the cooks. I’d lived a “soft suburban life” and I did not know how to hustle or even why I should hustle. Wanda said she’d have to let me go if I didn’t improve. It got to the point where I wanted to be fired because I couldn’t get the routine down.
Then one day she gave me some helpful advice: Never go into the kitchen empty-handed.
Click!
I became a waitressing whirlwind that day. I coordinated all my trips. I checked on my “cients.” Soon, I could handle 4 large tables sitting down at once, as so often happened in the “backroom” on a Sunday morning.
The day I left Wanda told me I’d been one of her best waitresses.
Because I’ve been a waitress, I always treat wait staff like they are important. Yet, I’ve been with people who treat them like they’re “lesser” people. Get all mad at them if they don’t bring a drink within 5 minutes or some other minor transgression that implied the waiter/waitress did not “bow and scrape” quick enough. If you want to find out how confident someone truly is, go to a restaurant with that person and observe how they treat the wait staff.
Lording it over those lower on the employment totem pole can be a sign of insecurity. It would mean that I’d been a lesser person when I waitressed and then somehow a superior person when I got a corporate job.
That’s craziness.
I always do the following when I go into a restaurant be it a down-home diner or a swank trendy spot.
1) I ask the waiter/waitress his or her name and use that name.
2) I treat him or her with the same respect I treat everyone.
3) I interact with my waiter/waitress.
4) I thank him or her when I leave.
5) I mention any problems so they can be rectified.
6) I leave more than 20% if it’s a down-home restaurant. These folks have to work twice as hard to make less.
Say, are any of you or were any of you wait folks? Thanks, G.
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I worked at “top dog” managing it — it was a great experience. Probably everyone would benefit by working in a restaurant at some point in their lives. I’ve never felt totally aligned with asking for names from waitstaff, but I am always kind and respectful. I saw a lot of the opposite growing up and I vowed to be different.
Hi Jenna,
It’s amazing how many people treat wait staff like they don’t matter. They’re bringing me my delicious food that’s important. It takes a lot of energy to be mean. A lose-lose scenario.
Thanks, G.
I was a cocktail waitress in my uncle’s bar and grill… it was my first job out of college. He gave me the same advice Wanda gave you. He told me to always survey my section and do as many things as I can each time I walked by. I’m a better person and a better worker because I worked in a restaurant. It teaches you to respect urgency, but there’s a fun rhythm to working like that. My husband worked in a restaurant too, and we definitely treat those serving us with respect. It’s hard work.
Hi Angie,
I’ve got a friend who will only hire people who were waiters or waitresses! Yes, respect urgency but with a rhythm. Now that you mention that, it’s like I worked to a song in my head. I cocktail waitressed and bartended after college, too. It is hard work. Then after working 8 hours, you need to work another hour or so cleaning up for the next day.
Appreciate your comment, G.
Wanda was just like Eve Arden in Mildred Pierce! Have you seen that, when she says to Joan Crawford – don’t go into the kitchen empty-handed. Wow, you had your own Mildred Pierce moment. I I loved reading this. And yes, I spent several summers waitressing at some resorts and one of my fave places – Yellowstone. Now, I love leaving big, unexpected tips for wait staff in those down-home places you speak of. And if I’m hogging the table for hours with my friend, then I leave a huge tip.
Patty, I haven’t thought of Eve Arden in decades. Saw her in Anatomy of a Murder (I think.) I will check out Mildred Pierce as I have not see it, but now want to. Can order it from the library. You got to waitress at Yellowstone? What a blast. I wanted to spend the summer at a big resort but never did for some reason. Am trying to leave a comment on your blog … Thanks for swinging by, G.http://giuliettathemuse.com/wp-admin/edit-comments.php?same=19871#
I worked at a Burger Boy way back when I was in high school, it was owned by Dave Thomas before he started Wendy’s and it was mainly in the Columbus, Ohio area. I did everything there from the counter waiting on customers to the grill flipping burgers and frying chicken.
I learned then to always treat folks right and when I am in a restaurant I like to know the wait person’s name and I always say please and thank you to them during the course of the dinner. I always leave at least 20% and round up to 25% when appropriate.
Hi Lou,
So many neat stories about working in eating establishments. You did a lot of cross training! It’s great to develop a panoply of skills for later in life, especially how to treat folks right. So many problems in the world would be solved by doing that alone. When I think of you, I always think of The Golden Rule.
Say, did you use a fryolater?
Thanks, G.
Hi G, never used a fryolater, we had wire baskets for the fries and chicken and just dropped them in the oil. Working in a place like that teaches you the importance of doing things right the first time. We even did our own potatoes every morning, took 100 pound bags of whole potatoes and washed them and sliced them into fries. We also had a hamburger patty machine that we took the fresh hamburger and ran it through turning it into patties. Lots of work for 90 cents an hour when I first started. I think I worked there about two years and the most I ever made was like $1.95 an hour. Boy, do I feel old. 🙂
Thanks! Lou, fascinating about the potatoes. So, they were homemade french fries. Back when folks made .90/hour, I bet a lot of food was. I’m glad we are returning to less processed food. You’ve got so many great stories.
G.
I love when somebody loves their job, and I’ve met so many wait staff that do … and it shows.
I also love the amazing skills that wait staff can build, from scanning the room, to dealing with emotions, to changing the tone of things, to multi-tasking.
J.D.,
Scanning the room! What a great observation of a great observation. You have to scan the room to see who needs you. And some of that is non-verbal. I used to go to a Friendly’s near where I live and the young woman that worked there rocked the room. She was witty and funny and I thought, “someone should hire her in a sales position.” Thanks, G.
Hi Giulietta,
Don’t know why but haven’t seen your blog posts lately.
Agree that it’s important to treat your waiter/waitress with respect. Waiting on tables must be one of the hardest and most demanding jobs. Find it disgusting how people take out their aggressiveness or irritation over the food/selection/presentation, etc. on the wait staff. As for looking down on waiters/waitresses, some of biggest names in entertainment and the arts waited on tables before they got their break.
Penelope,
Haven’t posted too much lately. Will be getting back into the groove soon. You are so right about many famous folks who got their starts waiting on tables. Even American Idol and other talent shoes are filled with folks embracing job titles prior to entry that some folks would scoff at. Then the title changes and their attitude changes. Glad to have you back here! thanks, g.