There’s no such thing as a grown up person …
Hey folks!
I’m going to be disobedient and start my post today with a shameless plug for my upcoming on-line essay writing class. To learn more about it, please click on “Secrets of Personal Essay Writing.” Once you learn the secrets, writing a publishable essay becomes a whole lot easier. My in-depth comments on your writing assignments are well worth the price of admission.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about being a “grown up.” The title of this article is a quote by Andre Malraux, a french novelist. I found it in a fab book I’m reading called, “Last Child in the Woods.” Real juicy if you like to hang out in forests, talk to animals or look at the stars.
So, what’ a grown up anyway? Webster’s defines it as “not childish or immature.” Continuing on I look up childish. “Lacking complexity. Simple.” Aren’t a lot of us grown-ups trying to simplify our lives? Get rid of the complexity. Get rid of the pretention (an antonym of simple)?
I know I am. It’s an ongoing process, but I’m actively reclaiming my child-like ways. For example, I love to go out at night and look up at the stars. Michael Bungay Stanier (Box of Crayons) suggested in a newsletter to go outside, hold up your arms and shout, “How Fantastic.” I’ve been doing that for maybe three years now. At first, I have to admit I felt a bit self-conscious. (Showing excitement? Who me, an adult?) Once I got comfortable with it, I got other grown-ups to do it. Be daring and give it a try tonight — you might grow-down …
Growing up instead of growing down might be the cause of much adult angst out there. It takes a lot of energy to suppress excitement, to stop seeing the awe in life. Eventually, it becomes second-nature until everything in your world takes on an ugly grey cast.
One of the more moving quotes in the Woods book, recounts a story told by a Girl Scout Leader who takes a group of urban children with AIDS to the mountains. In the middle of the night, she steps outside the tent with a nine-year old girl who has never seen stars before. The leader says, “That night, I saw the power of nature on a child. She was a changed person. From that moment on, she saw everything, the camouflaged lizard that everyone else skipped by. She used her senses. She was awake.”
How do we re-awaken ourselves, re-ignite our senses, get back to loving our lives in order to see them as the miracles they are?
Muse thx, Giulietta
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This became easier for me when I actively chose what I would look for each day. Seeking out kindness, inspiration, courage, magic and miracles led me to an amazing discovery ~ I was surrounded by all of it! They’re there for those who seek to see them.
To answer your question – I’d say, surround yourself with people who desire to awaken themselves, reignite their senses and get back to loving their lives as well as people who are already doing so and in whose company you’ll feel safe to let Enchantment in.
I’ve never thought of exclaiming to the night sky before. Thanks for that idea!
Hi Sally,
That’s quite the discovery you made — we see what we seek to see. I can verify that’s true from my own life experiences. A cool class you could lead. Reminds me of that Proust quote, “the voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new horizons, but in seeing with new eyes.” Thx! G.
I love this! It is so true! Being youthful being a child is something that I am fortunate to have in my genes. I get it from my parents and I continue to learn from them! My father is 73 and does not look a day over 50 I swear. He is constantly talking to strangers, exploring the city, making jokes, always laughing and ALWAYS up for a new adventure.
My mother on the other hand, always approaches everything with new eyes. She is always in awe with the world.
I am the one on the street that might look a little crazy at times, walking alone with the biggest smile on my face, whistling or talking to myself.
I love your nightly outing shouting “Its fantastic” because isn’t everything around us just that!
Hey Pamella,
Thanks for stopping by. What an energetic comment! I can feel your alive self through your words. How great to have parents like that. Love that your dad talks to strangers. I recently read somewhere, that children shouldn’t be taught not to speak to strangers, but rather they should be taught to avoid certain behaviors. Everyone’s a stranger before you meet them and we just end up with more strangers if we avoid folks we don’t know. A stranger actually stopped and helped me fix a flat once when the police drove by me! We’ve developed this distrust for each other that may be contributing to our feeling less safe.
When I get to Egypt to see the pyramids, I hope to find you whistling in their shadows! G.
For me it is just about letting go… sing when you want, dance when you want… notice the clouds, the stars, and the insects. It is about changing perspective to be one that is more about the world itself and the magic than about the bills and the accounts. I wonder what would happen if we all just took ten minutes a day to find little pieces of magic or to explore… just, a, little?
Hi TE,
I’m with you! We focus our efforts and attention on the drab instead of the fab. Where do we learn this insanity?
Love your ten minutes a day idea. That would make a good post. Neat latest blog title. Will check that out. Thanks! G.
I like how you put that — we tend to think of feeling and expressing joy as “childish,” and that seems to be why so many of us “sober, upstanding professional adults” feel so drab and uninspired.
Hi Chris,
You nailed it with “upstanding professional adults.” I shudder whenever I hear myself start to utter “prof…” I immediately retrace my speaking steps and come up with a different word. It may be on my design biz site somewhere. Think I need to go purge it. Many years ago when I was in grad school because I didn’t know what else to do with myself, I wanted to do a video shoot for an independent study. It was going to be shots of folks riding the subway cars. Whenever they passed me on the streets of Boston, I saw sad, lifeless folks staring out the windows, searching, searching, searching for signs of life and wanted to capture the “alienation.” I didn’t get a “real” Job until my late 20’s cause I always associated it with being sad or unfulfilled. For the most part, I was right … Thanks for swinging over here! G.
I take myself, and the world, too seriously most of the time. I think too much, or so I’m told. I like to think of it as actively grinding gears, but I fully admit to a slipping clutch too.
That means I’m practically never that happy-go-lucky guy whistling while I walk. Brooding is more my SOP in public, but at least that activity isn’t self-conscious.
I’ve learned to live with it and make choices to accommodate my disability. For me that means alone (or nearly alone) time, preferably somewhere I can’t hear cars or see signs of humanity. Climbing works, hiking, and for when i can’t get away I practice yoga and aikido – things that let me tune out and zone in.
But when I do get out into the wild, well I tend to have a stupid smile on my face for a lot of that time… 🙂
Thanks, G, as always…
Hey Michael,
Well, we need more critical thinking! There’s a definite shortage in that area. Maybe you were meant to live in the wild, kinda like Jane Goodall or Dianne Fossey or Jack Cousteau and bring folks back to their own wildness? Tuning out and zoning in tours! My first time hearing the term zoning in. Whatever makes us smile, we need to do more of … It’s a good litmus test. Always appreciate your thoughtful comments. G.
Giulietta: What a great post and you are so right that we need to open up that side of ourselves that can be in awe and appreciate all the things around us. I have a 4 year old and just being able to see the world through her eyes is so refreshing. She is always pointing out things to me that I would have probably otherwise overlooked. I think you are right about bringing that “childish” perspective to everything we see. Life can be so serious and heavy if we let it…sometimes it really is about stepping back and smelling the roses. Great post.
Hi Sibyl,
We need children to be children so they can help us find our way back to a more playful and light life. Your daughter still sees the magic all around her. How terrific she’s your childish tour guide! thx. G.
Hello Giuletta,
I just discovered your blog. How refreshing.
As a big girl who spends a fair amount of time playing in the woods and noticing everything I am moved by your message.
We forget how to play and appreciate and love what’s all around us.
How much we would all benefit if we payed more attention to the wonders that exist all around us all of the time!
Hi Jenny!
Welcome and thank you. Love new readers and commenters.
Like how you call yourself a “big girl” who plays in the woods. How fun is that?
I wish more kids of all ages would take to the woods. They have so much to offer, so many lessons to teach, so many secrets to share.
To this day, I adore hiking on pine needle-covered forest floors. Silent places with lots of cushioning. Oh, and also napping on thick carpets of vibrant green moss.
Will check out your blog soon! Thanks again. Giulietta
“Growing up instead of growing down might be the cause of much adult angst out there. It takes a lot of energy to suppress excitement, to stop seeing the awe in life. Eventually, it becomes second-nature until everything in your world takes on an ugly grey cast.”
SO TRUE! We are indeed creatures of habit, and if that habit begins with suppressing excitement or feeling sorry for ourselves, it’s not long before it becomes an all-encompassing attitude that affects everything you touch.
We all have the power to choose how we want to see and act in the world, and it’s important to remind ourselves of that fact sometimes!
Hi Emily Jane,
Ooh. The Greyness Touch instead of the Midas Touch. Good thought.
Yes, we’ve got the power! People — don’t give it away. Or, if you have, grab it back. Great reminder Emily Jane. Thanks for visiting again. Giulietta
Love your brilliant ways of waking us up! Thank you. 🙂
Hi Jenna,
Here’s to waking up! Don’t want to succumb to the Rip Van Winkle syndrome … Thx. G.
Wish I could go out at night, look up at the barely visible stars in my area and shout, “How Fantastic.” Two things stop me: my conservative neighbors with their trigger happy 911 fingers and my ingrained inhibitions. Brought up in the staid fifties, first in conservative England and then in a 1900’s style “refined” and deeply religious Latin American atmosphere, I have tried to suppress my childish side. Then again, on reflection, I’ve had my share of uninhibited childish moments of sheer joy. So you’re right!
About your plug, it has made me think. Publishable essays? Had never considered them. Sounds interesting.
Hi Penelope!
Yes, uninhibited. That’s a good word to describe childhood. We’re not yet concerned so much with what others think. We’re so enamored with life, so in love with it, that we don’t think about “controlling ourselves.” That will change until it’s almost all control.
The class is a lot fun. You could take parts of your chapters and turn them into paid essays.
Talk soon … G.
I promoted a personal essay class on my blog today, but I didn’t know about yours. You are such a great writer, the personal essay queen (the karaoke queen, the rebel queen… I could go on) so this sounds like such a great value. I’ll help spread the word about this too. As I write this, my children 4 and 1 are going coo-coo crazy (as my oldest calls it.) They keep me young and remind me to have fun.
Angie,
Thank you so much for spreading the essay writing class word! Have a new essay that was published yesterday. Will post it in next Tuesday’s article here. Children instinctively know how to have fun! They could teach us adults a thing or two or three about it. That might make a good Skirt! essay for you to write.
thx. G.
I began a gratitude journal and it changed everything.. Something about thanking the world and everyone in it just ignites me with passion and helps me to be thankful for every foot step in this walk of life.
Hi Hannah,
Gratitude journals are amazing. Plus you’ve got that wonderful thank you card project. I look forward to reading your thank you list about the fab Bronx!
G.
Sometimes it takes life changing events to remind us how short, precious, and fragile life is.
I was watching True Blood last night, and one of the lines was about how humans have so much more excitement and passion than vampires … because our lives are so temporary.
Hi J.D.,
That’s a great point. Death gives our lives meaning. Might make a good post! Thanks. G.