Life is Messy, Wear a Smock.
Hey complex thinkers!
I intended to write about the Late, Great Penn Station. Then I picked up a greeting card with the quote, “Life is messy, wear a smock.” Can’t find attribution for it, so I’ll thank the company that designed the card for their genius: Seltzer Goods.
My childhood friend A. and I spent many summer days exploring the large stream in our neighborhood. I’ve mentioned it several times in essays. Although I was not familiar with the term “rebirth” as a small child, something about the clean, flowing water kept me coming back day after summer day. It fed my spirit, that’s all I can tell you. The other thing I can tell you is that I never left that river without falling in and getting my clothes “dirty.” Something about leaving dripping wet, covered in sand and dirt completed this rebirth process. If I didn’t fall in, I didn’t feel reinvigorated.
Upon my return home, my mother always took a nutty. She yelled at me and went into a speech about staying clean, how she had to wash my clothes, etc. Yet, I could not stop myself or did not want to stop myself from falling into the stream. My friend’s mother suggested one day that she’d wash my clothes before I went home so I wouldn’t get yelled at.
That solved part of the problem. The other part? I loved being messy. I loved having a messy room. I grew up to have a messy office, a messy car, ad infinitum.
But messes and being messy are not readily accepted in this world. The “mess” age? Your life needs to be NEAT and ORDERLY, presumably so you can control it.
I loved the quote on this card because life is messy and if we’d talk about this earlier in life, it would make for less stress and less unhappiness. I enjoy diving into the mess, searching for things and in the process I stumble on things I’d forgotten about. If they’d been filed away all neat and orderly I’d probably never have stumbled on them again.
I’m also an oil painter and my smocks do get smeared with paint because I use a lot of paint. Like the paint fairly thick. Often I go “too far” on my canvass, make a giant mess, let it dry and return to rework it. For many paintings I have to go too far to be able to get where I need to go. It’s a messy painting process but it works for me.
How about some of you? Do you like your lives messy or neat and is messy seen as a negative for you? Do you have any memories of the messy times where you learned something you might not have if you’re life had been nice and neat?
Muse thx, G.
p.s. my latest b. globe essay for any of you summer lovers!
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I tend towards minimalism and still manage to be unorganized. Not dirty – I like my space to be clean, dusted, free of sticky coffee rings – but kipple definitely trends most days. It feels comfortable that way, like I actually live in my space.
It’s also probably why I go to coffee shops to write most of the time – I use their clean, bare, undistracting space and a pair of ear buds to tune out the noise and zone myself out.
For play though, dirty is the bestest. Dirt under fingernails, sand between toes, pine needles stuck in uncomfortable places, grass stains everywhere. And it’s not really a sport until you bleed on something.
My only question is: Why wear a smock? It’s just something else to wash…
You rock, G.
Hi Michael,
You are right on about the smock! Let’s bag it. And I like how you actually want to live in your space. Too many homes feel like designer showrooms instead of places to laugh and have a good time!
The fact children do not get dirty or make mud pies for the most part may have led to all the allergies. We’re sanitized to an unhealthy degree. Bring back the dirt, the real stuff.
Thanks! G.
I think I’m like Michael, I do like my space to be clean. Maybe it’s just that I’m hypersensitive, but walking barefoot across the floor and feeling crumbs underfoot, well that’s just gross. And I like an uncluttered workspace, because extraneous stuff can be a distraction.
But a house that doesn’t have a pile of magazines on the table, CDs next to the stereo, or a few projects lying around seems not to be inhabited by humans. As long as I don’t trip over them, they remind me that interesting stuff is going on. And I could never get into the taking-off-your-shoes before entering the house deal. We don’t live in a bubble.
Hi Sally,
That’s a super line about “reminding you that interesting stuff is going on.”
When things get all tidied away I seem to forget about them. It also makes you think you don’t have something, when you do. This can result in unnecessary purchases. I wonder in the old days if they had all these drawers, closets, etc. or did they know what they had because it remained in front of them?
I agree with keeping eating spaces clean. Work spaces I can’t keep clean for the life of me! It just migrates back probably because I like to go through it, looking for ideas.
Like a giant idea pile.
Thanks. Your Harvest Monday post sounds delicious …
G.
Hi G,
I smiled all the way through your story. It reminded me of a story my brother recently told me about mucking around in the creek when he was a kid, and after getting all messy he and his friends would stop at a laundromat and wash their clothes! Then the parents never knew. Clever, I thought.
I was always pretty messy as a kid, and carried that into adulthood. Some people might call that disorganized. When I started teaching part time at the college, though, my inner organizer perked up, I think because it helped me increase my confidence about what I was doing. As time progressed, I found I needed to be less organized, though.
Lately I’m experiencing messy/neat as part of a big old continuum, and I want to be able to traverse the whole thing: messy with pursuits like collage, gardening, painting, hiking; and neat, which I think of as the aesthetic beauty of order and form. When I walk through a museum and see the paintings hung just so I really respond to that. There’s something about art that can be both wild/messy and organized/neat at the same time. I love that. I think I’m talking about the concept of “both/and” rather than “either/or.”
Hmmm, well, I didn’t mean to go all philosophical on you! But you really made me think today, so thanks for that!
Hi Patty,
Please go all philosophical on us here! That’s what Giulietta the Muse is all about – questioning where we are and how we got here and if there’s a different direction that might suit us better.
I never thought of messy/neat as a continuum or even occurring at the same time. Now that you mention it, something can be neat and messy at the same time.
For example, I’ve seen very “neat” artists. Doing cool stuff, but in an organized way with their paint labels still visible. (Mine, I can’t see the color names anymore.) Nature can certainly be organized and messy at the same time. It’s all rather cyclical, yet wild at the same time.
Great messy food for thought!
thx, G.
Loved your story about always falling into the creak. Remember my neat freak mother having a fit every time I came in all dirty from the beach. Never took into consideration that in those days, she had to hand wash my clothes.
I’m not messy by nature and a bit of disorder makes a place feel homey but… my messes get on my nerves. I keep telling myself to tidy up so I shovel a few papers into folders and forget about them. The more I tidy and put away, the more I forget I have papers or items that I can use. Like a shirt – never worn – that would have been perfect this summer, but I’d forgotten I had it. The same goes for some papers and books. I know I have them somewhere but don’t know where when I need them. So what’s the answer? Maybe when you know your mess, just leave it that way.
P.S. Didn’t know that you are also a painter.
Hi Penelope,
So funny that both our mothers took fits when we got dirty. Honestly, it feels to me like we wash clothes much of the time that really even aren’t dirty.
And I so relate to putting things away and then forgetting about them! That’s how I end up with 7 and 8 of everything. I put things in the “medicine chest” in the bathroom, then forgot I even have it. Same with closets and drawers.
I used to joke from high school on that all I wanted were flat boards to toss things on rather than drawers. It’s like they swallow things up, at least my things (and my memory at times with it.)
Yes, “know your mess”! That’s really the truth.
Thx for your marvelous comment.
G.
I loved reading this, Giulietta, because there’s an oft-hidden side of me that resoundingly agrees. I adhere to order for pragmatic reasons — things have to be put back where they were, put shoes where shoes go, food where food goes, etc. And I train my child to do this too with his things. But I have never ever scolded him for making a mess, destroying his clothes or smearing whatever fun thing there is to smear on immaculate floors or walls at the moment. It’s light-my-fire FUN! I’ve spent many years keeping life neat and tidy but never got the satisfaction from it the way I do from letting mess allow itself to be. Mess can’t be denied. It’s made for embracing.
Hi Belinda,
Love hearing about hidden sides. “Light-my-fire FUN!” (great way to describe the messy side of life. It is FUN to just let go of the neatness and see where things land. Maybe that’s where they are meant to!) Thx. G.
Giulietta: I like that quote. It actually reminded me of another clever one I came across … Life is a banquet, don’t go hungry. I do think though that life really is messy and I appreciate the advice to wear a smock. I think this quote really drives home the point that we can’t expect for life to be clean and neat and not filled with challenges and other things that are messy. If we are really going to get the most out of life, we are going to have to roll up our sleeves and dive in. There are so many great things to discover about life and ourselves, but we are going to have to accept the messiness and challenges that come our way. Great post and great quote.
Hi Sibyl!
And you’ve got a great quote right in your comment, “If we are really going to get the most out of life, we are going to have to roll up our sleeves and dive in.” That seems to be the fear of many folks, to just dive in and see what’s down there. It’s an adventure for sure. Thanks! G.
I like the ebb and flow of clean and messy.
I keep my things neat and organized so I can always make fresh messes. Old messes drag me down.
Hi J.D.,
Most interesting how you look at clean and messy as an ebb and flow. Tide brings in a new deposit of something, stays for a while, then gets dragged out again. You’ve then got room to make or prepare for a fresh mess. Makes a lot of sense.
After ingesting all these delicious comments I began to realize I probably have a compost of messes, some decaying underneath with the newer ones on top. It feels organic when I look at it that way.
Have always wanted to write an essay about my messy nature, the compost heap may be the way to go!
Thanks for helping me pry open the concept of messiness …
G.