Take Back Your Life!

Hey life renegades,

Life can seem like an endless slog or a magical love affair. It depends on your ability to answer the question, “What makes you get up in the morning?”

During my childhood, I couldn’t get enough of life. I raced out of bed to explore the natural landscape near my home. I scaled the face of Bald Rock (o.k. a small hill a few roads over), I climbed pine trees, I waded in brooks, I watched butterflies, I taught riding lessons in my back yards without the aid of actual horses.

That love disappeared when society shoved me onto the tracks headed toward conventional adulthood. By my late twenties, I kept asking, “Is this all there is?” I’d broken up with life. We’d gone our separate ways. I had no real reason to get up in the morning. I guess I had stumbled onto some kind of career track. Yet, the notion of a generic career never appealed to me. I always felt like a caged animal in a work zoo. If we lived in this free society I wondered, how come we can’t leave until 5:00? I began saying to colleagues, “Let’s bust out of here and sit at an outdoor cafe and drink salty margaritas.”

They’d say, “Oh, that sounds fun. Too much work today. Maybe next week?”

Those weeks turned into years and finally into a decade and still no disobedient margarita hookey.

I realized I had to help myself if I wanted to fall in love with life again. I volunteered at a theater in the next town as the curtain puller. This simple act of opening and closing an unbelievably heavy curtain led to me opening a new act on my own life.

One of the actors introduced me to karaoke and returned me to hiking and bike riding. With life once again coursing through my veins, I also reconnected with my rebellious roots.

I fell in love with life again. We’ve been going strong ever since.

Muse thx,

Giulietta

p.s. A few years ago I celebrated my birthday drinking salty margaritas at an outdoor cafe. As wonderful as I’d imagined. How about you? Have you had your margarita moment?

Hey readers who like to shake things up,

A few weeks ago, I left a comment on a blog and won a DVD called, The Hustle for Worthiness, by Brene Brown. I enjoyed the entire DVD. It’s excellent. Some advice Brene passed along from a friend reinforced something I’ve been talking about for years. (I don’t have the exact quote cause I lent the DVD to someone!) The gist of it was, if you want to save the women, you have to save the men, too.

Makes sense, right?

If women are oppressed by their roles, then men are too. Not all women agree with this. I did a lot of research and wrote a paper on liberating men in grad school. My female teacher slammed it. I got it back covered with unflattering comments scrawled in red and an unexpected B-, the lowest grade I got on any paper in my three years of study.

Did I produce an inferior paper or did I choose an inferior topic? Got my own theory.

I know that a lot of men out there have dreams too. They’ve told me. The problem being men and women both get locked into the generic American Dream to work and consume, work and consume. It doesn’t leave men a lot of options once a family gets entrenched in this cycle. Then folks succumb to the “it’s too late now” or “I’ll do things once my children graduate from college.”

I wonder if sacrificing your own life for your children, who will then presumably sacrifice their lives for their children ( and so on), if this model really creates a happy adult society? Wouldn’t a thriving society filled with active participants of all ages be more vibrant?

Yes? No?

If you’re woman, would you be willing to reduce your standard of living so your husband can try something new? Have you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on saving the men too …

Muse thx, Giulietta

Hey rebels,

I read somewhere that people feel there aren’t any real heroes any more. I don’t agree.

About two years ago, I went to the wake of an elderly relative. The man’s son-in-law gave one of the most beautiful unscripted speeches I’ve ever heard. He told us that his father-in-law had been an “everyday” hero to him because of his devotion to his family. It changed forever my own definition of a hero.

Before that wake, I thought a hero had to be someone who ran into a burning building or something else extraordinary. I know that a lot of folks look up to sports figures as hero’s for breaking records or to billionaire’s for making tons of money.

Now I believe that a hero can be the person next door who takes care of his or her ailing parent or the person who reaches out to someone in need with a kind word. It can be you or me. We can all be heroes and heroines.

My husband is my everyday hero. He can fix anything that goes wrong in this old home of ours, from electrical to internet to plumbing. He keeps this place running and from the enthusiasm he does it with, I can see that it’s one of those labors of love people talk about. Thanks Jimmy!

Who are the everyday hero’s in your life? I’d love to know!

Muse thx, Giulietta

Hey dedicated readers,

First, I’d like to thank you for stopping by as often as you do. Taking time out of your day to read my words means a lot to me. And comments thrill me! Love the interaction. Second, I’d like to re-post a piece I wrote several years ago when the muse of the month at Skirt! Magazine. It’s something the world could use more of on a regular basis. Enjoy …

Three Things:

Seasoned Earth visitors have much to teach us younger folks. A few years ago, I went to a relative’s wake. After expressing my sympathies to the family and catching up with some cousins, I took a seat next to an older gentleman with thick eyeglasses leaning forward onto his cane. I learned his name was Frank and we were connected through one of my aunts.

I asked Frank to tell me about his life. A proud son of Sicilian immigrants, he spoke glowingly of his parents’ birthplace, painting a picture for me of its beautiful mountains, vistas and architecture. We talked about his business, his children, his grandchildren and a forthcoming book his family had written to celebrate his life.

Understanding the amazing gift of life experience sitting to my left, I leaned over and said, “Frank, what do you believe is the key to success and happiness?”

Without missing a beat, he raised his index, middle and ring fingers and said, “Three things.”

“What are they?” I asked, inching closer to the edge of my folding chair.

“To be kind, to be kind and to be kind.”

His words caused me to pause, to take inventory of my own kindness meter. Yes, I could give away more kindness each day. For whom had I been saving it?

If I want to live in a less violent world, a kindler, gentler world then I need to practice Frank’s philosophy of life during my special visit here on Earth.

Postscript: since I learned this secret from Frank, I’ve made it a point to try and help others as much as I can, to offer my “seat” so to speak to someone who needs it more than I, to clear the air in times of disagreement and to gift as many warm hello’s I can.

Thank you for the kindness of stopping by.

Giulietta

Hey rebellious ones,

I got to thinking the other day about the whole notion of being rich. Does being rich mean having a lot of money or does it mean something else to you? Webster’s defines rich as, “Having abundant possessions and esp. material wealth.” I used to define it that way too until I got laid off from my high paying job about 8 years ago. Living on less money for awhile taught me a few things about being rich. The most important one learned that having such a narrow definition of rich ignores or downplays the riches most of us have in our lives whether we make a ton of mula or not.

It can make folks think their lives have been failures because they haven’t measured up to some income standard.

Let’s challenge that definition by acknowledging different ways to be and feel rich!

I feel rich when I kayak on a meandering river.
I feel rich when I sing at a karaoke night.
I feel rich when I’m sitting with a group of friends drinking wine and laughing.
I feel rich when I contribute to a discussion during a documentary night in my town.
I feel rich I when have life shop participants tell me it changed their lives.
I feel rich when Jimmy and I take a walk in the moonlight on a hot summer night.

How do you define rich? Lots of money or something else. I’d love to hear.

Muse thx, Giulietta

Hey bad girls and boys & wednesday wishcasters,

In 2010, I wish for folks to disobey more. That’s right.

• Stand up and be counted, even if you’re the only one doing so.
• Make a scene.
• Say, “no” to anything that goes against your values.
• Catch all the shoulds flying at you and dump them in the trash can.
• Stop going along with programs you don’t believe in.
• Start being the change you want to see in the world.

People love to use, “I can’t make a difference” as an excuse for not standing up for what they really believe. That’s a big fat lie. You can make a difference – in your own life, in your neighborhood, in your country. The real question becomes, “Do you want to make a difference?”

If your life has no spark, if you feel like a dead-zone inside, if you complain about your situation, if you feel taken advantage of, if you keep asking yourself, “is this all there is to life?” chances are good you’re still that obedient little boy or girl who didn’t make your parents mad.

Perhaps, it’s time to …

Muse thx,

Giulietta

Hi rebellious readers,

I spent part of Sunday cleaning out my bureau drawers. For the first time in years, I now have enough room inside for the things I actually use, the stuff that’s usually sprawled on top.

I tossed out buttons for sweaters I no longer own, holiday cards from the last 7 years, airline/hotel info from a trip taken 4 years ago, yellowed shopping receipts, old lipsticks, empty plastic checkbook covers, broken earrings, random pieces of scribble, a 2 foot piece of rope, a ripped swim cap, medals from 20 years ago, broken jewelry, nail files, stretch bands for exercises I’m never going to do, old cat toys and dust.

There’s even more that I’ve heaped together for my first ever yard sale in the spring.

What was I saving this stuff for? What are you saving your stuff for? And why do we have so much stuff to begin with?

For a good chuckle, here’s a link to Comedian George Carlin’s timeless routine about stuff.

CARLIN ON STUFF

Way too much of life is spent managing stuff, protecting stuff, dragging around stuff, hiding stuff, crying over stuff, comparing stuff, worrying about stuff. If we can get out from underneath the weight of all this stuff, maybe we can lead the lives we desire?

How about you? Do you control your stuff or does it control you?

Happy 2010! The year of less stuff.

Muse thx,

Giulietta

Hi fun folks,

Recently, I read that children laugh 300 times a day and adults only 15. In my rebel book, that’s completely unacceptable. What’s going on here? Why do adults laugh so little?

The author of Laugh For No Reason, Dr. Kataria, says children laugh unconditionally whereas adults need reasons. Have we forgotten how to laugh? Have our adult lives become so dull and predictable that there’s nothing left to laugh at? Even TV shows have canned laugh tracks to let us know when we are supposed to laugh.

Maybe if adults laughed more they’d feel better. The American School of Laughter Yoga reports that laughter can be

• an age-inhibitor
• a pain reducer
• a stress buster
• a depression reliever
• an immune stimulator

Instead of giving us drugs, perhaps doctors should give us prescriptions for laughter?

Since I tend to laugh at the slightest provocation, needing a reason to guffaw feels alien to me. My third grade teacher actually put me in the corner for laughing! Looking back that made no sense. Punishing a child for what? Disrupting a bunch of ongoing non-laughter? The last kind of person tossed into a corner ought to be a happy one.

Want to try something unpredictable? Pick a day next week and keep track of the number of times you laugh and what you laugh at. I’m going to do it too. My new action step? Get my laughs back up to 300 a day …

Muse thx,

Giulietta

p.s. Check out the American School of Laughter Yoga at http://www.laughangeles.com & the book Laugh for No Reason.

Howdy,

I’ve noticed a lot of folks run around crying for change. Way fewer folks actually stand up and do something about it. That’s probably the number 1 reason life/governments/economies tend to stay the same – complete lack of action. I know it’s fear. Just wondering why we continue to reign each other in when that method clearly doesn’t work?

Maybe we should replace some of the holidays we have — the ones that seem to be shopping-oriented — with action days. People have the day off from work to take a chance and be the first person in line to do something. I used to need to know that someone was going to be in line behind me. 9 out of 10 times the person who said they’d support me lost his or her own nerve and I ended up at the front, alone, facing a not so happy authority figure. I got used to it. Now I have no problem being the first one to speak up, to write up, to walk up. Makes me feel powerful and alive.

If you’re serious about changing the world, you need to get comfortable being first in line … What’s something you’d be willing to be first in line for? (Besides gelati and new high tech products.)

Another Wednesday, another Wishcasting Circle. Today Jamie Ridler asks us what we wish to share.

I want to share with you that “it” will be o.k. Whatever it is you are worrying about, you will be able to get through it. About a year ago, I picked up a greeting card that said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill’s wise words stopped me in my tracks, causing me to reflect on the hellish times I experienced in young adulthood.

Definitely one of those aha moments.

I prolonged my visits to hell (mostly self-made) by focusing on my worrying instead of focusing on my getting out and staying out.

The way out of anything is to get up and keep moving. Forget everything you know to be true and look for an unconventional way out. Some of the advice you get will come from people who can’t get out of their own hells, who like it hot, who don’t want you to leave. Learn how to identify those folks and do the opposite of whatever they say. Approach the situation from every conceivable angle until you see the light. Start moving, even if you have to crawl …

As Belinda Carlisle sang so many times, “Heaven is a place on Earth.” You can find it if you keep moving … Anyone want to share good ways to do this?

Muse thx,

Giulietta