Take Back Your Life!

“A lifetime isn’t forever, so take the first chance, don’t wait for the second one! Because sometimes, there aren’t second chances! And if it turns out to be a mistake? So what! This is life! A whole bunch of mistakes! But if you never get a second chance at something you didn’t take a first chance at? That’s true failure.”

~ C. Joy Bell

I love taking chances, especially emotional because I find those are harder than taking physical or or financial ones. Trying something new that pushes me emotionally keeps me feeling alive and kickin’. Has really helped me step out of my protective shell aka prison.

But I know that isn’t the norm. Folks have been conditioned to be frightened of taking chances, of trusting their own guts, of taking leaps into the unknown.

Yet, the irony is that life is one BIG unknown, so why we get afraid of the unknown inside the unknown can get perplexing.

People seem to be terrified everywhere of doing something new, of breaking some tradition, of making someone angry. I am convinced most of the strife in the world happens when folks feel so bottled up by not taking chances that they explode and do horrible things to each other. (more…)

I spent my first 25 years suppressing every emotion but humor (mirth). It took quite a few years of therapy to allow me to show love, anger, compassion, happiness, courage, etc. Not giving myself permission to express the full range of emotions turned me into a zombie-like wreck. Once I set myself emotionally free, my depression or whatever you call it lifted like a cement block off my chest. Life then became wonderful, lighter and I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning.

Because it took me so long to show emotion, I go nuts when I attend business or government events and the facilitator says, “We will check our emotions at the door.”

Huh?

Why would anyone want to suggest doing that? Golly, I think the lack of showing emotion is one of the main problems with work as we know it, with society as we know it, with the world as we know it. The boys who tend to go into a school and shoot it up are always described as quiet loners who didn’t show much emotion. It makes you feel dead inside to not be able to feel or feel you can’t express what you feel or even what you don’t feel. (more…)

I can see from my own life how we tame our young, how we de-wild them so they are willing to sit in a chair for most of their lives. In a way, we break the young like we break a wild horse. We don’t throw a saddle on their backs. Instead we throw a chair on it and then turn them over. If someone told you as a young child that you’d spend most of your young adult and adult life in a chair, would you willingly go along with that?

I’m thankful that I spent a good chunk of my youth pretty free. Those days have somewhat dried up for today’s kids, but I believe it’s going to swing back. Everything swings back on the pendulum of “this is how you do it.”

Did you know Polaroids have made a comeback? They have a freedom to see and touch and hold the picture immediately that digital does not. I love old pictures of relatives and have them all around my home. The sepia that comes from aging looks beautiful to me. How do you do that with digital when it’s the reclamation and degradation of the photo that makes it look so lovely? I think film will be coming back strong as well. Once the power of wildness trickles up to the experts that folks listen to – and, ironically, they tend to be behind the “what’s next curve,” which makes the whole notion of expertdom rather comical at times. (more…)

“No one gets very far unless s/he accomplishes the impossible at least once
a day.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

I’m a lot like Melanie Griffith’s character in Working Girl, always cutting out things in the paper that catch my eye. I like to share what I find with others who might find the info interesting or helpful. A kind of journalistic paying it forward.

Recently, I read an article about a photographer taking pics of his subject, a nude woman, in all sorts of places. The model named one of the photos: Nihil Intentatum. Says it was said by Erasmus, and it means, Leave Nothing Unattempted. I love that philosophy — to try to do as much as you can on your Earth journey. The tendency in our “perfectionist culture” is to talk ourselves out of doing most everything — as a precaution in case we fail. That way we don’t lose face. (more…)

As a young child, I felt powerful.

I used to speak my mind, entertain adults with my provocative personality and roam the neighborhood in search of adventures. School definitely put a lid on my power. Way too many of my teachers wanted to tame me, put me in a box, turn me into some obedient little clone. I tried to fight it and ended up in corners, in hallways, in detention, etc.

They just keep working me until I retreated into myself and went along with the mind and soul numbing program.

Why do we do this to kids and young adults and think it’s a good idea? (more…)

I’ve thrown creative caution to the wind. Been going all out in 2014 and am just two months into it.

Singing:

A few weeks ago, I sang Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing.” For so long I thought, I can’t sing Whitney Houston. Then in December I heard Tessanne Chin win The Voice with it and I thought, “I’m going to try it.” Well, it came out terrific. A woman sitting near me said “It gave her the chills.” I used to be terrified of singing Whitney, now I consider it my best song. If The Voice auditions somewhere in New England or NYC, then I vow to try out for it.

We can do way more than we think we can.  (more…)

So, I went into the library the other day and saw this book in the new book section called: Social Media Is Bull Shit by BJ Mendelson.

I haven’t read it yet, but I’ve been feeling fatigued by social media the past few months and thought it might make a good discussion here on social media! Should a discussion on the potential bullshitedness of social media be conducted on-line or in person? Good question.

Can you believe that discussing this topic gave me enough energy to write a blog post?

Maybe I’ve been too engaged with face-to-face interaction in my town and my creativity group, not sure. Actually, the past few weeks I’ve been commenting on this leadership group on Linked In that found me and invited me to join. I must say that I’ve found the questions really intriguing. Is that BS? Not sure.

Anyway, I think part of the social media BS phenom seems to revolve around the promise of making a gazillion dollars if you just spend enough for a high end coach – like $50,000 and up for a year. If you do that they say, then you’ll make it in the biz world. If you don’t want to spend that money (to make them a gazillionaire), then you are somehow not invested in yourself.

Those arguments make me crazy. I tend to think that the earlier folks in the social media pyramidish scheme made it big and the late comers have a harder time because so many folks now understand that it is a pyramid of sorts. I had to get rid of so many newsletters because everyone sounded the same because they were trained by folks who coached them on what to say based on what they were coached to say. Those templates that get passed around.

I’m doing well with my face-to-face organic marketing campaigns. I do good for the world and meet folks that way. Often my clients aren’t the people I meet doing good, but friends of friends who get referred by the folks I’m doing good with or take time to have coffee/tea with. And I’m not doing that to even get clients. I do it because it makes me feel like I’m contributing to the world in some way.

I enjoy listening to folks and sharing my own experiences in the hopes it might be of use to them.

Maybe it’s just me, but I do the thing that makes me feel good – which is speaking out – and if folks want that they contact me.

I’ve met some wonderful folks on social media and that part is bullhumble (golly, is that even a word? I’m trying to find the opposite of bullshit.). It’s the template training that feels fraudulent to me.

How about you? What’s your take on social media? Is it really even social?

thanks! G.

I’ve been watching Twilight Zone Episodes at 11 pm every night.

Great training for writers who want to learn to “twist” their readers all around. Masterfully written. No special effects. Just a few characters. Scary. Short. Make a social or political statement.

Last night — Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder.

A woman sits up in bed wrapped in bandages. She wants to know if she will look more presentable when the bandages come off. The nurse and doctors cannot guarantee she will become less “hideous.” She’s already had ten surgeries to alter her appearance. Folks turn away from her in disgust because of her disfigurement. You don’t see anyone’s face.

They remove the bandages s.l.o.w.l.y. The nurses recoil in horror. She is still “ugly.” (more…)

About 3 years ago, I wrote a blog post about the masks I’d worn, taken off and still have fragments of to remove. I got nervous right before hitting the send key because I thought, it’s too rad for folks. Well, that post got more comments than just about any post. It spoke to readers.

Yesterday, while patrolling the supermarket aisle in search of organic items (or was it meaning?), the title for this month’s newsletter popped into my head. Everyone Is Beautiful When They Take Off Their Masks.

If you take off your metaphorical mask, you will expose the underneath you, the one you’ve been taught to hide or hold in check or be ashamed to reveal.

The beautiful human you. The vulnerable you.  (more…)

I’m reading Improv Wisdom and the subtitle is “Don’t prepare, just show up.”

It reminded me to live my life unscripted as much as possible.

For example, last night I went to a stacked Town Meeting knowing I was going to speak against the crowd. It was for more money for an athletic complex that has gone way over budget because they stuck with the plan when they hit significant financial issues early on. Many voters felt like they were stuck between a rock and a hard place. We’ve spent millions and they wanted another million and say they will come back again for even more. (more…)