Take Back Your Life!

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” ~ Winston Churchill

I stood up for myself as a child. For that bravery, I got tossed out of classrooms, told I asked too many questions, or sent to sit in the corner.

That skill was not and is still not wanted by society.

It interferes with the agenda of those in charge.

By high school, I had retreated into myself. It took many classes in assertiveness training, public speaking, theater and willful practice to restore my childhood courage.

This is what I discovered the second time around: As an adult, speaking up can be met with turned tables. Suddenly, you become framed as the problem.

Nice tactic to silence anyone with a different opinion.

Now, would that get me to zip it?

Nada.

No amount of having myself labelled the problem could be worse than sitting in a chair terrified to speak up. 

That fear of speaking up or being called on or performing in front of a group nearly destroyed me.

Nothing anyone does now could possibly compare to that psychological pain.

And, of course, once aware of silencing tactics one can redirect the conversation back where it needs to go. Yay! I also want to say that speaking up for yourself goes hand in hand with listening to what others have to say and trying to reach some kind of climate where we all learn from each other and respect what others have to say.

Honestly, I think people get terrified when they’ve already charted a group path and someone questions where that group path is going. So, they dig in deeper, getting more afraid with every question directed their way.

Why are we taught to be afraid of those who question or stand up and express different thoughts and opinions than the ones we hold?

Maybe it comes down to being taught that one must always be in control and to lose control means to lose face or lose respect.

Erroneous teaching in my mind.

I’ve learned that the only way to be in control is to actually be out of control.

Oddly enough, I learned that through painting. The more I let go of what I thought a painting should be, the more it became what I wanted it to be.

It felt like me on the inside being reflected on a painting.

I like that! Sometimes one’s exterior is different than one’s interior and the outside is protective armor created to keep one safe. {not to mention it is really heavy to lug around.]

It usually does the opposite. Makes you feel unsafe. Only when I removed my protective armor did I feel powerful!

I don’t want to protect myself, I want to show myself. The more we all show ourselves, the better the overall outcome will be because it will reflect something real rather than fake.

Anyway, perhaps, take a look at it and how you stand up for yourself. And how you feel about that. And if you are hiding behind any kind of protective gear.

Maybe, take a tiny step each day without the armor on to see how it feels?

Thanks for visiting! G.