Somewhere along the childhood line I started to lie when confronted about “doing” something. I believe it stemmed from being punished when I admitted to fairly minor household transgressions like eating the cake or tracking mud into the house. Like any kid I started to put two and two together and realized I came up with punishment 10. Unfortunately, this behavior followed me into life beyond childhood.
You see it in the news all the time, instead of saying, “Yes, I did this,” the famous figure flatly denies it then months or even years later the truth comes out and the person-in-question gets a far worse public whopping than if they had just came out and said, “I did it.” It seems rare for anyone to state the truth. David Letterman comes to mind as someone who had the courage to say, “I did it. I’m sorry. How can we move on?”
We’re all human. Yet, we spend a lot of time beating each other up for acting human — and it seems to be getting worse with the 24/7 media. The judgmental attitudes come flying out of the human woodwork, when it reality some of the time the judges have done the very same thing. Hypocrisy can be a far greater problem than the original transgression. Often, I’ve seen some member of the government rail against someone only to find out they were secretly doing the same thing.
It may be that what we dislike most about ourselves hits a guilty nerve when we see it reflected in someone else.
I’ve found in the past few years that it’s easier to say, “I did it.” Once you do that, the person accusing you has no power over you. You don’t have to worry about your “secret” coming out because it’s already out.
For example, recently I attended a meeting where I suggested we do x and folks jumped all over me because it violated some real estate dictate that I didn’t know existed because it seemed nonsensical. Instead of turning red and feeling like a bad person. I said, “Oops and made light of it.” It disarmed the situation for me in a big way. If I’d tried to defend it, the situation just would have spiraled downward.
This is an issue I’ve historically had a tough time with and know others do, too.
Here’s my own little hint when others try and make you feel stupid or bad — take a breath and see where you can own up to whatever it is. You’ll feel more powerful and sleep easier.
Muse thx, Giulietta
p.s. My FUN and LIBERATING juicy life/writing adventure at Story Circle On-line starts on Monday. There’s still time to join us. We’re going to unleash our alive sides and write prose reflecting that. For folks who want to begin or continue taking back their lives. Please click JUICY to get more info… You’ll have a lot of access to me over the four weeks. It’s a great way to improve your writing and hang out with a muse!