Hello warmhearted folks.
For much of my life, I tried to hide my tears. Somewhere along the line I learned that tears were bad. Tears were weak. Tears were failure.
Instead, I counteracted the emotion that wanted to come out by thinking happy thoughts. Breathing in and out quickly. Turning from the person. Letting my hair droop over my eyes. Excusing myself to go to the bathroom.
Then about seven years ago, while having coffee with a new friend, I saw a very tall woman in the coffee-shop. I mean really tall. The tallest woman I’d ever seen. Yet she carried herself with such grace and dignity that I felt moved to tears. Not out of sadness. Out of happiness that someone in this world that didn’t quite physically fit in managed to feel good about herself when many who do fit in never seem happy. She laughed and bantered with her companions. She seemed genuinely in love with life.
My inclination, though, was to hide this emotional release from my friend. She couldn’t know. I had to be strong and always laughing. But I couldn’t this time for whatever reason. The happy thoughts didn’t work.
So, my friend, despite my best efforts, saw these tears and do you know what she said?
What relief I felt. That was the first time in my life that anyone ever said it was okay to cry. A small act of compassion that made something I’d been ashamed of for years feel acceptable. Talk about a release. I felt reborn emotionally, freed from the shame tears seemed to bring.
In my life shops, sometimes people cry. When you let your insides see the light, it can be so emotionally overwhelming that you cry tears of release, like the time I saw the tall woman who felt good about herself.
What do I say to the people who cry in my life shops?
Muse thx, Giulietta
How do you deal with the tears of others and your own tears?