First, I’d like to thank you for stopping by as often as you do. Taking time out of your day to read my words means a lot to me. And comments thrill me! Love the interaction. Second, I’d like to re-post a piece I wrote several years ago when the muse of the month at Skirt! Magazine. It’s something the world could use more of on a regular basis. Enjoy …

Three Things:

Seasoned Earth visitors have much to teach us younger folks. A few years ago, I went to a relative’s wake. After expressing my sympathies to the family and catching up with some cousins, I took a seat next to an older gentleman with thick eyeglasses leaning forward onto his cane. I learned his name was Frank and we were connected through one of my aunts.

I asked Frank to tell me about his life. A proud son of Sicilian immigrants, he spoke glowingly of his parents’ birthplace, painting a picture for me of its beautiful mountains, vistas and architecture. We talked about his business, his children, his grandchildren and a forthcoming book his family had written to celebrate his life.

Understanding the amazing gift of life experience sitting to my left, I leaned over and said, “Frank, what do you believe is the key to success and happiness?”

Without missing a beat, he raised his index, middle and ring fingers and said, “Three things.”

“What are they?” I asked, inching closer to the edge of my folding chair.

“To be kind, to be kind and to be kind.”

His words caused me to pause, to take inventory of my own kindness meter. Yes, I could give away more kindness each day. For whom had I been saving it?

If I want to live in a less violent world, a kindler, gentler world then I need to practice Frank’s philosophy of life during my special visit here on Earth.

Postscript: since I learned this secret from Frank, I’ve made it a point to try and help others as much as I can, to offer my “seat” so to speak to someone who needs it more than I, to clear the air in times of disagreement and to gift as many warm hello’s I can.

Thank you for the kindness of stopping by.

Giulietta

I recently gave a blouse to charity that I bought six years ago, yet never wore. It was beautiful, but I kept “saving” it for a “special” occasion. Before a party or business event, I’d take it out of my closet, hold it up to myself in the mirror, feel pretty and then put it back! Never a good enough occasion.

By the time I found a “good” enough occasion, my pretty blouse no longer fit my style. I’d changed and it didn’t feel right when I put it on. It stayed in the closet for an additional few years.

Many folks do the same thing with their lives that I did with my shirt — they save it for retirement or after the kids get out of school or when they make more money or some other excuse. They want to do exciting things, yet don’t because it’s not the right time. Waiting for the right time, doesn’t make sense when most of us have no idea how long we’ll be a visitor on our beautiful planet.

Does that sound like you? Can you pinpoint why you keep putting off your life? Most of the reasons that stand in the way of you doing what you want in life are just excuses. Ask what the excuses shield you from? What will happen if you start doing some of these things?

What have you been putting off in your life and why? Or, what did you finally stop putting off and how did that change your life?

Muse thx,

Giulietta

I got to thinking the other day about the whole notion of being rich. Does being rich mean having a lot of money or does it mean something else to you? Webster’s defines rich as, “Having abundant possessions and esp. material wealth.” I used to define it that way too until I got laid off from my high paying job about 8 years ago. Living on less money for awhile taught me a few things about being rich. The most important one learned that having such a narrow definition of rich ignores or downplays the riches most of us have in our lives whether we make a ton of mula or not.

It can make folks think their lives have been failures because they haven’t measured up to some income standard.

Let’s challenge that definition by acknowledging different ways to be and feel rich!

I feel rich when I kayak on a meandering river.
I feel rich when I sing at a karaoke night.
I feel rich when I’m sitting with a group of friends drinking wine and laughing.
I feel rich when I contribute to a discussion during a documentary night in my town.
I feel rich I when have life shop participants tell me it changed their lives.
I feel rich when Jimmy and I take a walk in the moonlight on a hot summer night.

How do you define rich? Lots of money or something else. I’d love to hear.

Muse thx, Giulietta

It seems like we’re constantly being told to fix this or fix that about our relationships, our personalities, and our businesses. E-newsletters ask me if I’m procrastinating, if I’m afraid to sell, if I playing small, if I’m holding back, etc.

Maybe it makes more sense to concentrate on what’s really working in our lives and continue to do more of whatever that is. Expanding our greatest strengths forms the core of the burgeoning strengths movement. To keep this movement going, we’ll need to wean ourselves off of measuring everything in our lives to “see how we’re doing” or “how we compare to others.”

The problem with most metrics is that they keep you focused on the negative. Based on the results (often seemingly arbitrary), your boss, your teacher, your doctor or some other person of supposed authority in your life directs you to shore up your alleged weaknesses.

I say alleged because our society tends to fixate on weaknesses. I don’t believe in trying to fix weaknesses. Instead, I prefer to encourage and grow a person’s natural interests and inclinations. It’s pretty futile to force someone to get “good” at something they don’t care for.

Take math. I never liked math. It didn’t interest me. I wasn’t “good” at it. Yet, I spent a lot of time taking all kinds of math classes thinking I needed to be good in math. I even got a job that required me to do quite a bit of math. It started to eat me up alive because I didn’t want to do it.

Looking in life’s rear view mirror I can see now that the time I spent taking math classes kept me from taking more English classes and writing classes or just plain writing.

I loved writing and ended up doing math. Now that I’ve been back writing for about ten years, I feel like I’m where I want to be, where I was meant to be, where I got detoured from.

Our visits to Earth seem increasingly short to me, why not spend most of your precious time on this beautiful planet doing what you enjoy.

I’d love to hear what’s working in your life. What do you want more of in your life?

Muse thx,

Giulietta

Glad you stopped by today. I didn’t watch all of the Superbowl – working on Son of a Preacher Man & Because the Night for karaoke — but I did catch parts of it and the winning speech by Drew Brees.

He said, “We just believed in ourselves and we knew we had an entire city and maybe an entire country behind us.”

You have to believe in yourself. It might sound overly simplistic to say that. Yet, I know it’s true for my own life and for the lives of others. If you believe in yourself, you can move mountains! Belief gives you the equivalent of “emotional adrenaline.”

So, how come more of us don’t believe in ourselves? A collective societal fear of the power & awesomeness that self-belief generates. Each generation holds the next generation back. Some of us manage to burst through the hands holding us back. Others don’t feel strong enough to do so.

I want you to know that you are strong enough! We are all strong enough. Do you notice yourself “holding back” anyone in your life? Perhaps, try encouraging them instead. We know the world we’ve created, where people hold each other back doesn’t work.

Let’s try believing in each other for a change!

Muse thx,

Giulietta

I wish for folks to stop using the story, “I can’t do anything about it” as an excuse for not getting involved. Of course, you can do something about “it” – whatever your “it” is. In fact, it’s a lot easier to do something about “it” than you think. And you can start in your own backyard.

If you’re having a problem with yourself, write yourself a letter. Much will be revealed.

If you’re having a problem with a person, talk to that person.

If you’re having a problem with an issue in your town, talk to your board of selectmen and your neighbors.

If you’re having a problem with a larger local issue, write a letter to the editor or a guest column.

If you want to change something on a bigger scale, start a social movement. You’ll find that a lot of people feel just like you do. They’re ready to start the dance of change if someone else starts beating the drum.

Unless you participate, you’ll be stuck with the vision of whoever does chose to participate.

Muse thx,

Giulietta

p.s. Not having enough time does not count. We make time for the important things in our lives. There’s always time!

I wish for you to see your life not as a chore or something to get through, but rather as an Alice In Wonderland type of adventure.

Will you wake up and feel like you fell down a rabbit hole? Yes. Will strange things happen to you? Yes. Will you meet strange people? Yes. Will you be strange? Yes. Will any of it make sense? Probably not.

Yet, that’s the real beauty of our precious lives. They are not meant to be controlled, to be figured out, to be made 100% safe. They are meant to be wild and crazy journeys where anything can happen because it’s all unscripted.

Forget following other people’s scripts. They have no right to tell you how to live your journey at the bottom of the rabbit hole because there is no right, there is only what is. Remember these folks don’t know any more than you do. It’s all posturing. You know more about you and your life than anyone. Please don’t forget that when they bust into your life screaming and madly waiving their script, accusing you of not following it!

I can almost guarantee that if you start to look at your life as an adventure that you own, you will wake up every morning feeling braver and more powerful!

Muse thx,

Giulietta

I work with a lot of people who want to start a business, make a life change or take up a new creative pursuit. The greatest obstacle they face?

Themselves.

Yup! The hardest person to convince of your worthiness is you. Until you believe a) you can do it and b) you have a right to do it, not much will happen.

I’ve said this before on this blog and I’ll say it again, our society does a terrible job growing people who believe in themselves. We all come into the world feeling “pumped.” By Junior High, you can already see a lot of shut down pumps.

Yeah, people run around getting all excited about collecting careers and titles and credentials. Why? Because we’ve been told those external “things” will make us worthy to others. So, you spend your life jumping through hoops to scavenge all the things on your societal worthiness list. In middle age, you proudly hold up your list for the world to see.

Yet, you may not feel good. In fact, you may feel worse than when you started the list pre-junior high.

Why?

Because it’s a wild human-goose chase. If we “grow” people who believe in themselves, they will follow their own hearts and create their own lists.

I’ve got my custom-designed list. Have you got yours?

Muse thx,

Giulietta

About ten years ago, I tapped into my ability to see what’s awesome about a person. Something the person often can’t see in his or her self. It’s this inability to see our own awesomeness that holds us back from living an amazing life.

If we let it, life can beat us up and beat us down. When that happens you’re more likely to accept what you believe is fate – a life of mind and soul-numbing mediocrity. I’m sure you see it all the time. People at work, people on the subway, people at parties all exhibiting an overall lack of enthusiasm for life.

I’m here to tell you that you can get back your childhood enthusiasm and zest for life.

Yes, you are awesome!

Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Institutions and people treat you like you’re mediocre to keep you from breaking out of your cage because they erroneously believe that people are better off in cages.

Much of the emotional pain and suffering in the world happens because people do not understand that they have the power to leave their cages any time they want. No one can keep us in there. Way too many people only figure this out on their deathbed. I’m guessing you don’t want to wait until it’s too late or you wouldn’t be reading this.

We all have something magnificent about us, something that will make the world a better place and make our own lives worth living with gusto. Our life challenge is to figure out what it is and release it to the world.

Here’s a baby step you can take towards finding your life challenge. Make a list right now of 5 things you do well and that you love to do. How often do you do them?

I’d love to hear one awesome thing about you. Please tell the world by writing it below!

Muse thx,
Giulieta

Starting off 2010 with a big dream sounds good to me. This year I’m going to explore and promote “lifeness.” I define “lifeness” as being one self, a seamless merging of the play self and the business self and the classroom self. Why we’ve been taught to put on a different face for work or school makes no sense to me. All it does is promote human misery and unsavory methods to self-anesthetize from the emotional pain it invariably causes.

Being who we are is our natural state or we wouldn’t be born into natural lifeness.

The best way for me to be myself and for you to be yourself is to stop buying into the ridiculous myth that we need to divide and conquer our own personalities to be “successful.” So, I’m supposed to work with and be impressed with the phony you? Conversely, you are supposed to work with and be impressed with the phony me?

Complete garbage!

Here’s to achieving lifeness …

Muse thx,

Giulietta