Take Back Your Life!

Hey rebellious ones,

Most of us spent our youths waiting to get permission from parents or teachers to do the things we wanted to do. Then we went to work and got permission from our bosses to do the things we wanted to do. It eased us gently or not-so-gently into a permission-based life, where we ask others of all ages if it’s o.k. to do the things we want to do.

By the time we reach mid-life, many folks have instituted a self-imposed restraining order to the point they don’t even ask permission anymore. Even that’s been beaten out of them.

I semi went along with getting permission until I went on a bike trip to Europe in the early 90′s. A few of us went down to the beach and started walking along the shore. About 15 minutes later, I noticed a no trespassing sign, stopped and obediently said, “Hey, we should turn around.” One woman with a fiery spirit kept walking. She said, “If someone doesn’t want us to be here, they’ll let us know.”

Her words started me in my tracks! They got me going forward. They empowered me to stop living a permission-based life. If I get a great idea and someone wants to be a barrier, I simply go around them. My philosophy? They’ll see how great what I’m doing is and want to join in. If not, oh well! It’s a great way to take back your power …

How about you, have you ever lived a permission-based life? If liberated, how does that feel?

Muse thx,

Giulietta

Hey rebels,

I read somewhere that people feel there aren’t any real heroes any more. I don’t agree.

About two years ago, I went to the wake of an elderly relative. The man’s son-in-law gave one of the most beautiful unscripted speeches I’ve ever heard. He told us that his father-in-law had been an “everyday” hero to him because of his devotion to his family. It changed forever my own definition of a hero.

Before that wake, I thought a hero had to be someone who ran into a burning building or something else extraordinary. I know that a lot of folks look up to sports figures as hero’s for breaking records or to billionaire’s for making tons of money.

Now I believe that a hero can be the person next door who takes care of his or her ailing parent or the person who reaches out to someone in need with a kind word. It can be you or me. We can all be heroes and heroines.

My husband is my everyday hero. He can fix anything that goes wrong in this old home of ours, from electrical to internet to plumbing. He keeps this place running and from the enthusiasm he does it with, I can see that it’s one of those labors of love people talk about. Thanks Jimmy!

Who are the everyday hero’s in your life? I’d love to know!

Muse thx, Giulietta

Hey dedicated readers,

First, I’d like to thank you for stopping by as often as you do. Taking time out of your day to read my words means a lot to me. And comments thrill me! Love the interaction. Second, I’d like to re-post a piece I wrote several years ago when the muse of the month at Skirt! Magazine. It’s something the world could use more of on a regular basis. Enjoy …

Three Things:

Seasoned Earth visitors have much to teach us younger folks. A few years ago, I went to a relative’s wake. After expressing my sympathies to the family and catching up with some cousins, I took a seat next to an older gentleman with thick eyeglasses leaning forward onto his cane. I learned his name was Frank and we were connected through one of my aunts.

I asked Frank to tell me about his life. A proud son of Sicilian immigrants, he spoke glowingly of his parents’ birthplace, painting a picture for me of its beautiful mountains, vistas and architecture. We talked about his business, his children, his grandchildren and a forthcoming book his family had written to celebrate his life.

Understanding the amazing gift of life experience sitting to my left, I leaned over and said, “Frank, what do you believe is the key to success and happiness?”

Without missing a beat, he raised his index, middle and ring fingers and said, “Three things.”

“What are they?” I asked, inching closer to the edge of my folding chair.

“To be kind, to be kind and to be kind.”

His words caused me to pause, to take inventory of my own kindness meter. Yes, I could give away more kindness each day. For whom had I been saving it?

If I want to live in a less violent world, a kindler, gentler world then I need to practice Frank’s philosophy of life during my special visit here on Earth.

Postscript: since I learned this secret from Frank, I’ve made it a point to try and help others as much as I can, to offer my “seat” so to speak to someone who needs it more than I, to clear the air in times of disagreement and to gift as many warm hello’s I can.

Thank you for the kindness of stopping by.

Giulietta

Hey rebellious ones,

I got to thinking the other day about the whole notion of being rich. Does being rich mean having a lot of money or does it mean something else to you? Webster’s defines rich as, “Having abundant possessions and esp. material wealth.” I used to define it that way too until I got laid off from my high paying job about 8 years ago. Living on less money for awhile taught me a few things about being rich. The most important one learned that having such a narrow definition of rich ignores or downplays the riches most of us have in our lives whether we make a ton of mula or not.

It can make folks think their lives have been failures because they haven’t measured up to some income standard.

Let’s challenge that definition by acknowledging different ways to be and feel rich!

I feel rich when I kayak on a meandering river.
I feel rich when I sing at a karaoke night.
I feel rich when I’m sitting with a group of friends drinking wine and laughing.
I feel rich when I contribute to a discussion during a documentary night in my town.
I feel rich I when have life shop participants tell me it changed their lives.
I feel rich when Jimmy and I take a walk in the moonlight on a hot summer night.

How do you define rich? Lots of money or something else. I’d love to hear.

Muse thx, Giulietta

Hey rebels!

I work with a lot of people who want to start a business, make a life change or take up a new creative pursuit. The greatest obstacle they face?

Themselves.

Yup! The hardest person to convince of your worthiness is you. Until you believe a) you can do it and b) you have a right to do it, not much will happen.

I’ve said this before on this blog and I’ll say it again, our society does a terrible job growing people who believe in themselves. We all come into the world feeling “pumped.” By Junior High, you can already see a lot of shut down pumps.

Yeah, people run around getting all excited about collecting careers and titles and credentials. Why? Because we’ve been told those external “things” will make us worthy to others. So, you spend your life jumping through hoops to scavenge all the things on your societal worthiness list. In middle age, you proudly hold up your list for the world to see.

Yet, you may not feel good. In fact, you may feel worse than when you started the list pre-junior high.

Why?

Because it’s a wild human-goose chase. If we “grow” people who believe in themselves, they will follow their own hearts and create their own lists.

I’ve got my custom-designed list. Have you got yours?

Muse thx,

Giulietta

Hello fun folks!

Wishcasters are asked today what they would like to give. I’d like to give everyone who reads my blog today a breath of fresh air (ABOFA). You can take your ABOFA and use it to change anything you want in your life. Take a moment right now and state out loud what you want to change.

Or fill in the blank right here ________________________________.

Can you feel the ABOFA breezing over you?

Close your eyes. Let go of whatever fear keeps you from making this change. Yes, just let it go. The breeze will sweep it away.

Enjoy!

Muse thx, Giulietta

Hi!

I used to take writing rejections personally, analyzing what might have happened way too long. For example, if an essay was rejected it emotionally paralyzed me.  I thought my writing must be terrible. I should quit. No one wants my writing.

Bring out the violins.

As it turned out, I just needed to take a class, do some tweaking and send it to a different editor.  Once I did, it all fell into place and I learned from the experience. Do I still get my writing rejected? Sure. All writers do. It’s part of the deal when you take on writing. What’s changed is that I keep tweaking and sending it out. I don’t let myself get all teary eyed.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for a piece of writing is to send it out and get it rejected. Like magic, it becomes clear what I need to change. So, I do.

Self-pity is a bad play to visit. It’s o.k. to stop there briefly but if you find yourself showing up with a packed bag, do whatever it takes to get out of self-pity town. It’s filled with writers who couldn’t deal with rejection.

Remember, when someone rejects your writing for whatever reason that’s just that person’s opinion. It’s also a great learning opportunity.

If your writing gets rejected, ask yourself three questions.

Do I know for a fact it was rejected because it wasn’t good?

Does it change who I think I am as a person?

How can I learn from this rejection?

If you believe in a piece of writing, never stop working on it or sending it out. You will find a home for it …

Muse thanks,

Giulietta

Hi thankful ones,

On occasion, I buy 9 x 4 inspirational notepads. Love the unique size. Makes it easy to tuck a quick note in with a payment, a small gift or an article. One of my favorite notepads is produced by the fabulous NJ company, “How To Live” (www.how-to-live.com). It says on the top “Life is full of gifts …” and on the bottom “be thankful.”

I first discovered this notepad 5 years ago and have sent individual sheets to many friends. It really got me thinking about life in a new way. Society has us galloping so fast through our days that we rarely have time to stop and smell the daily roses, to be thankful for all the riches we already have. We’re constantly being shuffled toward the next “best” thing to supposedly make us complete and/or happy, which makes it hard to enjoy and be thankful for what’s here right now.

I don’t want to gallop through life. It goes by fast enough on its own without helping it along. I want to savor every delicious moment — hanging out with friends, laughing with my husband, going on walks, singing at karaoke nights, writing essays. If anything I’d like to slow life down to make it last longer.

Do you feel the push or pull to gallop? When you aren’t galloping, what are you thankful for?

Muse thx,

Giulietta

Hey rebellious ones!

It’s a complete myth that individuals cannot have any impact on the world. People say that out of fear, then hide behind that fear. One shared thought can start a ripple effect, gathering energy and power as it ripples across “Lake Status Quo.”

I participate in my small town’s government because if I don’t, I’ll get what a small group of people want and that might not be the best for me, my neighborhood or the planet. Last night I attended a very alive planning board meeting. A room teaming with life!

Lots of energy with great minds thinking & speaking up.

It’s amazing how good I feel when I’m fully awake participating in my world. When we don’t participate, we can fall into depression because there’s no overriding reason to get up in the morning. I call my twenties the lost decade. I didn’t engage with the world. I just reacted. Not fun.

The good news? If you stop treading water in Lake Status Quo, you’ll be able to swim to many different lakes, lakes you can name yourself. My favorite lake? Lake Participation.

How about you? What lakes have you named?

Already Wishcasting Wednesday again! This week Jamie asks us what we’d like to complete. My mind went in a million different directions! Honestly, I wake up every morning musing with ideas and while some people might say, “Giulietta, focus, focus” I see my cauldron of rich ideas as my greatness. It’s hard for me to be around people and not share the ideas that come to me in their presence.

Kinda like a greatness clairvoyant!

Whatever it is that you do that releases you from the “autopilot” so many of us find ourselves locked into day after day — that is your greatness.

I would like to complete my first info product on finding greatness. It’s been in the making for a medium time! I will offer the product and personal muse time with me. When I download products, I end up skimming through them once or twice, not getting too much out of the experience. My approach will be different. It will take into consideration that humans buy products but need human encouragement to move forward with the product’s content, especially something as personal and emotional as finding your greatness.

I’ve worked with lots of people in small groups or one and one, and it’s always a relief for them to find their greatness. Otherwise, we spend our lives searching, searching, searching … asking, “what am I here for?”

Do you know what your greatness is?

Muse thx,

Giulietta